Hello beautiful girls, It feels so good to be back on the Blog. I took a couple months off of writing to get healed up. Just came out of one of the hardest seasons of my life if I can be completely honest. Relationships are hard, life can get harder, and the decisions we make daily really does determine our future. But you know what? Through it all. God is still good. I learned A LOT! But I feel refreshed and healed up. So no better way to start this new year off healthy and happy am I right? Today I want to be honest with you girls and talk to you about one of my biggest struggles. I believe every girl walks through this stuff, but no one wants to be honest and open up about it. How is that so? Why don't we talk to our friends about our pains? Why don't we cry and get it all out? Why don't we surrender our failures to God and really open up to Him? Why don't we really allow Him to heal what is really going on in our lives, our heart, and in our minds? Well get comfy wherever you are. Whether you are on the couch with your tea or hot coffee, or sitting in a cute coffee shop. Lean in, and get ready to learn from my mistakes. I believe in you! I believe God has so much for you. But in order to reach our full potential, we have to be honest and open up. Here we go! The title of this Blog is called "Who Cares". The reason for this title is because us girls have got to stop caring what other people think. Below are some verses in the Bible that could help encourage you to not care so much of what others think. Who would have thought the Bible spoke so much about our feelings and motives. Crazy! Grab a pin or copy these in your notes on your iPhone. Note takers are history makers. Proverbs 29:25 "It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe" Psalm 118:8 "It is better to take refuge in the LORD Than to trust in man." 2 Corinthians 5:13 "If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you." 1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." Did you know we are our biggest critics? No one criticizes yourself more than yourself. You have to let go. Stop making a big deal out of things and you won’t be so nervous and discouraged. What sense does it make to pretend that someone is judging us? Most people will not sit there and calculate your life. If you have low self-esteem, you’re introvert, or you struggle with nervousness Satan will try to feed you lies. Don’t listen to him. Stop over thinking things. I believe you hurt yourself more by constantly making a big deal out of the smallest things. Many of us come from a dark past, but we must remember to look to the cross and the love of God. Turn to Christ. He is enough. I said it before and I’ll say it again if you are confident in Christ you will be confident in every area of your life. I do not believe there is any way to fully stop caring what others think. We can become bold, we can do the will of God, we can become more confident, more extroverted, etc. Although we can compress it and we can significantly become better in this area I believe that we were all affected by the fall. There is a psychological battle within us that we all have to deal with. I know that some people struggle with this more than others, but never are we left to deal with this on our own. We must look to the Lord for help in our time of need. God’s grace is sufficient for any problem that you may face because of this. Caring what other people think can cause you to make a terrible impression on others. Instead of being genuine and expressing who you are you put on a façade. You change the way you do things and you try to impress instead. Your mind is going in so many different directions that it can cause you to just stall in anxiety. This is a huge topic that can go in so many different directions. Sometimes to get better with this all we need is confidence in the Lord, more experience, and practice. For example, if you have to make a public speech and you are afraid of what others may think know that with experience you become better at it. Practice with a group of family members and above all cry out to the Lord for help. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Caring what others think will cause you to miss out on a lot. What do I mean by this you ask? When you’re so focused on what others think it stops you from being yourself. You start to calculate everything and you say, “well I can’t do this or I can’t do that.” You can’t be yourself because you’re too busy being what you think others want you to be. I remember I had a friend in middle school that was afraid to go out with a girl who he liked because he was afraid of what others would think. He missed out on a beautiful girl. Caring what others think will cause you to fear every situation that you’re put in. You will be afraid to loosen up and have fun because you will think what if everybody laughs at me. You might be afraid to meet new people. You will be afraid to have fun. You might be afraid to pray in public. It can cause you to make financial mistakes. You will be a people-pleasing yes man, it can even cause you to be afraid to tell others you’re Christian. Sometimes just like Peter, we tell God that we will never disown Him, but we disown Him every day. I used to have a fear of praying in public. I would go in restaurants and quickly pray when no one was watching. I used to care about the thoughts of others. Jesus says, “If you’re ashamed of me on Earth I’ll be ashamed of you.” It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore and God helped me to boldly pray in public disregarding the thoughts of others. I don’t care! I love Christ. He is all I have and I’ll boldly pray to Him before the world. Are there things right now in your life that reveal a heart that disowns God in some areas? Are you afraid to pray in public because of what other people think? Do you turn down the Christian music when you’re in front of your friends? Are you always afraid to witness because of what others might think? Are you afraid to tell worldly friends that the real reason that you can’t do what they do is because of Christ? Caring what others think is so dangerous to your testimony and to your walk of faith. You will become a coward and the Scriptures teach us that cowards will not inherit the Kingdom. Examine your life. As I was reading and digging in the word, I found a couple people who did not care what others think about them. They did not allow others to move their fear. -Abraham never saw rain before, and he still believed God and trusted Him fully and built a giant ark. -Mary was a virgin and had never had sex, but yet she still gave birth to Jesus and did not care about what others think. -Esther was a Jew and no one knew her. Yet, God appointed her and she trusted in Him and became a queen over her city. -Joseph was sold into slavery by his own family. He ended up in prison for something he did not do. And yet, he still trusted God and didn't allow people to move his faith. -David was a young nobody. He played a harp in an empty field. And still trusted in God. Was brought in by the people, to kill a giant. No one knew him, he was a small man with one thing.. Faith. All this being said. When you have God on your side. You do not need to sit and overthink about what others think of you. What others are going to say about you. WHO CARES! I use to spend so much time and energy worrying about what others think of me. What others will do when I make a move. I use to live in fear for so long caring way too much of what other people thought of me. I began to isolate myself in this box and put on a lid on myself to cope with the pain. But I am so over that now. I am so tired of getting on social media wondering what people think of what I post. I am so over not opening up my heart to someone or getting in a relationship, and wondering what people will say about me or who I am dating. I am so done with being scared to speak up in my work place of what I believe in and how my life is different because of Jesus. I use to live my life so fake, because I was so scared of living life and being honest with myself and others. I am so over "overthinking" what I am going to wear that day, or what others think by the brands I wear, or the car I drive. Girls.. WHO CARES! Who cares if others lie about you. Who cares if other girls spread rumors. Who cares about "what he said, or she said". You should not have to spend your life in fear, and caring so much of what others think. We miss out so much in life when we put ourselves in a box and close the lid. The devil wants you to live life in a closed box. He want to put all these thoughts in your head. He wants you overthinking every decision you make, or who you like and don't like. WHO CARES! Caring what others think leads to making bad decisions. Sadly, we see this every day. We want people to notice us so we buy more expensive things. Many people are managing their finances terribly because they want people to have a better opinion about them. It is a terrible thing to buy things that you can’t afford to look good in front of others. Caring what others think can also lead to sin. For example, you’re ashamed of your job so it leads to lying. You’re tired of your family asking when are you going to get married so you go out with an unbeliever. You don’t want to seem like a square so you hang with the cool crowd and join in their ungodly activities. We must be careful and remove the spirit of caring what others think from our lives. Caring what others think leads to a watered down gospel. God cannot use you if you are afraid to offend people with the truth. The gospel is offensive! There is no other way around it. After over a decade of being alone with God John the Baptist went to go preach and he had no fear of man. He didn’t go out to seek fame or a title he went to preach repentance. When is the last time that you’ve heard a TV preacher tell their audience to turn away from their sins? When is the last time that you have heard a TV preacher say that "to serve Jesus it’s going to cost you your life?" When is the last time that you have heard Judah Smith teach, "that it is hard for the rich to enter into Heaven?" You won’t hear that because the money will stop coming in. The gospel is so watered down that it is no longer the gospel. If I didn’t hear the true gospel I would have never been saved! I would have been a false convert. It’s all of grace and I can still live like the devil that is a lie from Hell. Luke 6:26 "Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way." 1 Thessalonians 2:4 "But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts." There are times when we should care. I had to add this extra point so no one goes overboard. When I say don’t care what others think I am not saying to live in sin. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be careful about causing our brothers to stumble. I am not saying that we shouldn’t listen to authority or to correction. I am not saying that we shouldn’t humble ourselves and love our enemies. There is a way that we can go so far in the wrong direction with this that we can hurt our Christian testimony, we can be loveless, arrogant, selfish, worldly, etc. We have to use godly and wise discernment when we should care and when we shouldn’t. To close with this Blog. I want you to leave reading this being encourage and not discouraged. I want you to really grasp what I am saying. Fear of living your life because of people is a lie from the enemy. You were not meant to be in a closed box. You were born and created with a purpose. A calling, and a life to live pure and blessed. God has way too much to put in your hands if you let Him. Christine Caine once quoted in her message. "We limit our supernatural God. We limit and confine God. We put God in a box and we don't dream the God dream for our life. All because of our past and what others tell us." Forgetting those things that lye behind us. You better know and believe what He says about you. Believe it ladies. Everyday you have to fight the lies of the enemy about what be says about you and what you can and cannot do. Look at all the mistakes behind you, and leave them there. You have to let go and stop minimizing God and what He can do. You have to have courage and let go, and walk in freedom, Most of us are so scared of the pain of the recovery, that we embrace the pain and don't step into the future. Healing is a process. Just like me, I had to take a break from writing and blogging to heal myself and give God all my issues. All my pain and mistakes that I had made in my past. Years of healing and wrestling with God, but the fruit of the future is far more abundant and greater for me now that I took the time and did that. You have to let go of the past in your hands. Drop it, so you can pick up the blessings of the future. You can not hold both in your hands at the same time. The whole purpose of Jesus and the cross was to give us a life of freedom and a new start. You are God's workmanship. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You are a leader and not a follower. Claim that over your life today ladies. Do not spend anymore time worrying about what others think about you. WHO CARES! The words you put into your mind, your thoughts, and your spirit will flow out. Speak life and truth over your thought and your future and see what happens. I love you ladies! I hope you have enjoyed this blunt blog. True freedom is when we are completely honest with ourselves. I hope you girls have an amazing week. Stay tuned for my next Blog, you don't want to miss it. -Holli Hi beautiful ladies! The weekend is finally here! I love weekends, although the weather in California has been very hot and humid. So my weekend will consist of tanning at the beach and lots of water bottles. I am so excited to be the guest writer for HER® this week. I got to thinking about what I wanted to share with you girls. And this one memory kept coming back to my mind. It is actually a personal situation that happened to me a couple weeks ago by a friend. So lets get real, shall we? Grab a seat on your couch or bed and your coffee, and lets get started. Have you ever felt belittled by someone before? Let me get more detailed! Have you ever found yourself excited about life and actually have joy for once. And someone (maybe a friend or stranger) tried to come in and steal your joy. They tried to crush your dreams after talking with them about some ideas of what you wanted to do in school, or maybe even start your own business? Us girls always overthink everything! I know I am not the only girl in this world who feels like this sometimes. We all do! But this person happened to be really close to me, and yet I felt as if they crushed me and my motives. Did not see this one coming. It came out of nowhere. I was sharing with this friend about a business I am starting. And trying to explain what I am doing and where I see it going. I finally had joy for once in my life about it. I was so excited. I was ready! Little did I know, this person was not happy with their life, so they threw all their negative thoughts and words onto me. Because the truth is, hurt people hurt people. That is life. And we have to be careful with how we allow peoples thoughts and negative words come into our life and stick to us. I was shopping the other day in this cute little boutique by myself. I love shopping! As I was walking around the store, I spotted a cute pink top on the clearance rack. The two things us women like to do at this moment is. One, check the size. Two, check the price. This top was the perfect size and in my price budget. So I did what any girl would do. I bought it. I then left the store and walked to my car. As I got into my car and started the engine, God spoke so clearly to me. It was one of those moments where It was complete silent, and chills rushed over my arms. He said it so clear. "Holli, just like "The Clearance Rack" you bought that top from, you sometimes treat yourself like that. If you are not careful with the words from others, you can attach those words to your mind and heart, and believe the lies hurt people say to you. I created you at a high price, don't allow other peoples words put your identity on "The Clearance Rack." I mean whoa God! Wow! Way to hit me straight to the heart! I turned off the radio in my car and drove straight home in complete silence. It got me thinking! This is so true! Us girls can attach other peoples words that are said to us or over us, and we can easily identify that as our identity. I'm not sure who this word was for out there. But hear me out! Do NOT let someone else (whether that is a friend, or a stranger) declare hurt words over your life. We can get so caught up in life and friendships, and start to believe anything people say to us. Then we start to overthink the words that were said. And easily believe those words as our identity. I know for me, I started questioning my calling and this business God told me to start. I started to believe the lies and belittle myself. Then doubt checked in, and all my dreams began to fade away. It controlled my mind and my thoughts. Then I would start thinking about it all the time, and soon enough, I began to dream about these thoughts. Crazy right?! Here are some verses below that helped me understand more about how strong our words are. James 3:8 "But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. " James 3:5 "So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! " This topic really gave me a new perspective of things. I use to be so sensitive when going through tough times, but now I just soak it all in and ask God how can I fix myself. Then I apply it and usually write about it. I think for us girls, words from other people are really important to us, if I am being completely honest. We love words of affirmation. We love when our friends or boyfriends compliment us. We even take pride when someone appreciates us. Or, when poeple tell us we are doing a great job. Whether it is our outfit, our job, or a business we are starting, we love compliments. But we must be really careful how we allow other peoples words effect us. Don't put yourself on "The Clearance Rack" and belittle yourself and your purpose, just because someone else who is hurt says so. God has called you to such a HIGH PRICE. He created you unique. He gave you dreams not other girls get. He gave you visions other girls cant see. He called to be the head and not the tail. He wants you to carry your worth with pride. Do NOT let someone else's words effect you. If this happens to you again, go home and look yourself in the mirror. And start to declare positive and encouraging words over your life. Life is way too short to worry about someone else's opinions. We are worth way more than that. And lastly I want to end with this. If you are the girl (on the flip side) who has been hurt. And in the past you used your hurtful words and attached them to someone else you. Know there is hope. From here on out, be careful with how you speak to other people. Our words are so sharp, and even though they may not hurt someone at the moment, they can hurt them down the road and you will be accounted for and responsible for those actions to God. We want to always think before we speak. My Momma use to tell me "Holli, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." I never understood that until I got hurt by so many friends and their words. We need to be women who stand out, and known for the kindness that comes out of our mouths. If we can get this down, we can be world changers. And other girls in this world will not have a hard time finding good friendships. The most attractive thing you can carry is your words. You will be amazed how many people start to follow you, if you can learn to speak kindness and uplifting. If you think about it, no girl wants to be friends with girls who degrade them or belittle them in life. Am I right?! I encourage you as I finish up. Try this week to practice speaking life in stead of death over people and even your closest friends. You will begin to bare good fruit if you can do that. And God will honor and bless you for this. I promise! I hope you enjoyed this read. I hope your weekend is fabulous. Try to stay off "The Clearance Rack" and know your purpose, and what God has called you to do and how to life. Sincerely, Holli Wright Happy Friday beautiful ladies!
I am so happy and excited it is finally the weekend. The sun is finally out, and the weather in southern California is finally hot enough to lay out at the beach and tan. As I am sitting in my quiet bedroom, cuddled up under my favorite white blanket. I got to thinking about how busy the month of June has already been for me and my little family. I feel like I can't even remember what day it is, or I sometimes loose count of what the date actually is. Life is busy, plans are made, and as we adult we tend to go fast forward, and we miss moments if we are not careful. And that is my topic for the day. Time, plans, and moments. I have titled this one "Click Fast Forward". Why you may ask? Well as I was watching Netflix this week, I had the remote in my hand and God spoke something to me so softy that I would like to share you with. He said “Holli, your have turned your life on Fast Forward so you do not have to deal with situations or moments that you do not life. But that is not how I created you to be. Slow down, and trust me.” You are in for a treat! Grab your hot cup of coffee from a coffee shop or the Keurig in the kitchen, and lets get started. As we begin, let me just give you a brief summery of who I am personality wise. I am not a patient person. I am learning and growing everyday. But patience is not my strong suit. I am list and to do's kind of girl. I go very fast. The is no shortcuts with me. I get things done very fast and in order. I love calendars. I could tell you what I am doing three months from now on a Tuesday at 7pm. That is just me. I am constantly moving fast forward. Almost as fast as when you are watching a movie and you "Click Fast Forward" to get to the scene you want to watch. I say all this because I believe us girls do this in life. We “Click Fast Forward” to get to the scene we want to happen in life. We do this two ways. One, we either do this to skip the hurt and motions we want to avoid. Or two, we have a mindset of going so fast because we do not know how to trust people or even God in the moment. We tend to speed up the process to get what we want. I had this mentality for a long time because of the way I was raised. I grew up with a father who was really controlling. Everything had to be so perfect, and if it was not I was known as a screw up. Things like homework, my room being clean, my attitude, the front we put on in front of people, or even in sports. I remember in detail my father coming home, and if something was not PERFECT in his eyes, we would have consequences. So years of having this mentality, I then learned that everything I did had to be fast, rushed, and so perfect. Days and years went by, and BOOM, Holli does not know how to rest or to slow down. I have missed so many moments in my past and had so many attitude breakdowns with my husband, because things in life did not go perfect or the way I wanted them to go. For an example, here is a funny but not so funny story that happened to us about a month ago. We were driving back from Phoenix, AZ visiting some family friends for the weekend. We were an hour away from home in a city called Palm Springs. This city is in the middle of the desert. All you see is windmills, dirt, and mountains. The nearest gas station was 15 miles away. We were driving my old black Honda back from our getaway, and as we drive down the last mountain, the engine blows and our car slowly breaks down and stops. I could not press the breaks, nor could I put the car in park. I had to slowly stop and drift the car to the shoulder and wait for the car to stop, so I can turn it off. "Seriously God" I thought. I got so mad I started yelling at my husband and began to freak out. Why? Because a life situation happened, and things didn't turn out perfect or the way I had planned. We were stranded on the side of the road for two long and hot hours. Its 6pm now, and its getting dark. Bugs are biting us on our legs, and the car is not starting. We had to wait for the tow truck to come drag us home. Could you imagine my reaction? It was not good! While I was going crazy in the moment, my husband stopped me and said "Can you just be in the moment, and see what is in front of you." That is when I knew that my life was on "Click Fast Forward" mode. I say all this because I had to check myself. Life happens. But because of the way I was raised, I did not know how to handle imperfect situations without blowing up on someone or something. I was the type of girl who always “Clicked Fast Forward”, so I did not have to deal with things. I did not know how to slow down, take a breather, and process. I think a lot of us girls are like this and do not even realize it. We go so fast every day. We push things aside, and maybe even speak negative things to our spouse or friends. But I want to tell you today from my experience and learning and growing in this area. This is not healthy. Life happens. But in those moments, in stead of freaking out and cursing at God. Why don't we just take a breath, know that everything is eventually going to be okay, and really trust God through the process. I struggled a lot with Anxiety growing up without even realizing it. Whatever age you are now. Middle school, high school, college, young mom, or even grandmother. Know that at the end of the day God is going to work things out. We can get so caught in the day or hour that we tend to “Click Fast Forward” just to avoid dealing with junk in our lives. We want to skip to the scene so we can avoid these problems. There is a man in the Bible named Noah. He was a old bearded man that built the Ark for the great flood. He had so many people from villages and cities come up to him and betray him for building this crazy Ark. He knew the promise God gave him, and because of that promise Noah chose to take everyday and slow down, and follow the directions. Did Noah have bad days? Of course he did. But one thing I always admired about Noah and his story, is he did not hesitate or throw a fit while building this Ark. He had a plan, a structure, and knew what needed to be done. He could have thrown in the hammer and nails after a week of building this boat and gave up and freaked out. He could have gotten into so many fights with his wife and left her and the kids. He could have cursed God, and then this story would have never been written in the Bible. But because of his patience and obedience, Noah reaped a harvest. Noah did not "Click Fast Forward" while building this Ark. He could have, and he had a lot of opportunity to do so, but he chose to trust God in the midst of building and seeing the promise that was made come to past. I don't know about you girls, but I would love to be like Noah. To have patience and learn how to take things slow. We can work hard and do things right. But don't let those things get in the way of missing the moments. I am talking about moments with friendships, God moments where He is trying to speak to you, or even moments of just checking your motives and attitudes when a bad situation happens. It can be so easy for us to lash out and speak so negative to people, when we are fired up and angry. I use to not even think before I spoke, and just lash out at someone because I did not like what happened or how I was treated. But over the years and with great wisdom by people helping me walk through this issue, I have learned that we should take a second, rethink what we are about to speak, and trust God that He is going to make everything okay. It may not be that second, or in the time we want it. But He always comes through. I believe our attitude really does affect the solutions to our problems. We should be women with character and walk in patience and in love. So to end with this, don't "Click Fast Forward" on your life, in your workplace, or in your walk with Christ just to get by and live. Slow down! Do not miss the moments He is trying to tell you or show you. I missed so many moments, and I will never be able to go back in time to change them. Think before you speak to people around you. Take a second to breath and ask God for patience and wisdom before you open your mouth. We have way too many girls in this world who can not find healthy friends, all because of the words we speak. If you trust God now, Great! But I encourage you to trust Him a little more than you do now. Stretch your faith this week and see how your heart changes. When something goes wrong, and life situations happen when you least expect it to. Whether your car breaks down, you lose your job, you get a bad grade, your boyfriend breaks up with you, or your parents hurt you or put you down. Whatever it may be, ask God for wisdom before you just "Click Fast Forward" just to get to the scene in your life you want to look see. We can miss so many moments when we fast forward the scenes God wants to show us and grow us in. I hope you beautiful ladies have an amazing weekend. Go to the pool, hangout with your friends, or sleep in. Until next time. Tootles! Holli ✖️✖️✖️ Hi beautiful girls!
Wherever you may be, whatever state your in or job you are sitting at. I hope you’re having an amazing day so far. I normally write a blog once a month. But God has been showing me so much lately, so I decided to post another one and share it with you. This blog is something we can all relate too. I hope you enjoy this read! Let's get started shall we? About a week ago, God gave me a vision of a tree in a dream. And then another one again, while I was traveling through the desert this past weekend in Palm Spings. Has God ever given you a dream or vision? And at that moment, you are not so sure what it means or why you got it? God gives me pictures, just basic pictures. And then He normally lets me figure the meaning of it out on my own. Or a situation happens in my life and it just clicks. Sometimes God gives us visions or dreams, and sometimes He speaks words to us. With me, God gives me pictures. And that is what I want to chat with you about today. "The Tree" is the image I got. There is a really cool story in the Bible about a man named Zacchaeus, and he was known as a cheater and a tax collector. He had a very bad reputation. People would see him in the streets and flee because they knew his reputation. He had no friends. All Zacheius knew was to steal, and to collect money from people. If you asked me my opinion, I bet his parents did not leave him a legacy or show him how to be a good example. In the book of Luke 19:1-10 it tells us the details of Zacchaeus, and what reputation he really had. But the cool thing is, at the end of this story he was willing to meet Jesus. He heard so much about this man who was a healer. Zacchaeus was a very short man, and he heard that Jesus was coming to his town. So he decided to climb a tall giant tree, to see if he could just get a glimpse of Jesus. So he then climbed that tree and spotted Jesus in a far. In the Bible, it says that Jesus saw Zacchaeus, and told him to climb down from "The Tree" for Jesus was coming to his house tonight for dinner that night. Imagine the peoples responses in the crowd. The Bible says the people in the crowds were shocked and began to mutter. This man was a sinner. He was wealthy and had stolen everything from people in the town. But Jesus saw Zacchaeus's heart, and asked him to come down from the tree. I want to stop right there and talk about "The Tree." If you haven't heard of this bible story before, you are in for a treat. If you have, I am sure you have heard a lot about the little man named Zacchaeus, but not really about "The Tree." So here is the vision I got. We as girls and young women are a tree. We have roots deeper than the ground soil. As we are watered by life, people, school, and other things of this world, we eventually grow over time. We are a tree. We are always growing by the things we water ourselves with. We have roots from our past that have died, and these dead roots are just hanging from our tree. We also have healthy stems that are flourishing and growing from our tree. So my question for you today is, what dead things are on your tree? There are some stuff on our trees that should not be there. Some things that are keeping us from growing. Me being blunt, there were a lot of things on my tree that have been dead for years, and I had no idea it was keeping me from growing. Here are some things I really had to work on in order to grow. Self worth, doubt, seeking man for approval, and knowing that I am good enough. I grew up with a very abusive father who constantly told me I was ugly and worthless. A father who always thought I was never good enough. A man who was hurt and never dealt with his own dead roots, years later those dead roots connected with my roots, and I began to grow dead as well. Without even realizing it. The thing about roots are, they grow and can link to other roots and cause them to grow on a new root. I believe there are things in our life we need to cut off. Generational curses left behind us that have linked to our roots. Relationships that have caused us to die and not grow, or old habits and addictions we have learned over the years that are causing us to not grow. If you could take a step back and check yourself, what are some dead roots you would see on your tree that you need to cut off? Would it be an addiction, past hurt relationship, or something your family or parents attached to you, and you are just now seeing it for the first time. In order for us to grow healthy and bare fruit, we have to cut off old roots. We have to detach ourselves from sin, or bad habits and then we can see growth. I cant tell you how many years went by in my life, not knowing my tree was so dead. And I didn't even realize it. My tree was not baring any fruit. I soon figured out that I had bad habits attached to my roots. Roots of addictions, roots of past hurt, and roots that were so deep, they were causing me to not grow and bare fruit. Colossians 2:7 it says "Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." Proverbs 12:3 "Wickedness never brings stability, but the godly have deep roots." If you think about it, roots are the cause of growth. So what is it that is keeping you from growing like "The Tree." I believe that tree in the Bible that Zacchaeus was in, was a symbol of something. A symbol of growth and being healed. He was a man with a lot of issues and addictions. He could have stayed in that tree and told Jesus "NO." He could have held on to his old roots, and not wanted to get healed by Jesus. He could have continued his life journey as a broken man. But instead, he chose change. He chose to climb that tree one last time to see if Jesus was really the man people had been talking about. Because he climbed that tree, he was willing to break off all the old roots and allow Jesus to heal him completely. And finally have freedom for the first time in his life. That tree was not an accident. I believe in that moment, people in the crowd got to experience true breakthrough by seeing Jesus love, and use a man who had old roots and issues. So whether that’s you standing in the crowd right now, or you’re just waiting up in that tree. Begging one last time for freedom and breakthrough. It is never too late to ask God to cut those old roots off of your life. I believe, because Jesus to in this old short man with so many dead roots, He surely can use YOU! I use to be a girl with so many issues. Addictions, past hurt, abuse, and betrayed. A girl who would cry in my closet every night begging God to cut these dead roots off me. A girl who was raped and malested at a young age. I was that girl who walked into school and church, and always felt judged because I had so many roots that was attached to me. People would look at me the same way Zacchaeus was looked at in that crowd. But it took me climbing into "The Tree" to get freedom and breakthrough. I had to come to a place where I did not care what others thought of me. I had to mentally and physically want those roots completely cut from my life so I could grow healthy and bare fruit. And same goes for you. You have to do this because YOU want freedom, not because other people tell you, or I tell you in this blog. Are you willing to climb "The Tree" and ask Jesus to heal you? Are you willing to look down at the crowd and keep your eyes set on Jesus, and allow him to cut your old roots off your tree? It took me years to do this. Why? Because I did not have good mentors or blogs like this to read, and know what to do in those moments. I encourage you this week, to write on paper things in your life that are causing you to not grow. Whether it is a boyfriend that does not treat you right, parents that are constantly putting you down, friendships at school that bully you. Whatever it may be, write it down and ask God to cut those old roots off your tree. It is going to cause you to feel pain, and maybe shead some tears. But remember you can not heal completely if you keeping picking at the scars. Allow God to go there. Allow Him to go to those dark places you once were at, and heal you from your past. Believing the best is yet to come for you girls this year. And as you allow Him to help you step down from that tree, you will see growth and fruits begin to flourish. I hope this blog encourages you today. My heart is to help grow you, encourage you, and make sure you are the woman God has called you to be. But in order to reach that goal and be that woman, we have to go to places like this to get fully healed in order to grow and flourish. I hope you beautiful young girls and women out there have a fabulous week. The weekend is finally here. Go explore, have fun with friends, and be the woman God has called you to be. Smile, choose joy in the midst of cutting off these old roots. And I promise, once you experience freedom for the first time, fruit will begin to grow on your life because you chose to climb "The Tree." Holli ✖️✖️✖️ Happy Friday!
I am super excited the weekend is finally here. It has been a while since my last Blog post. But oh my goodness, are you in for a real treat with this one. I have titled this one "The Filing Cabinet" due to some issues and real life stuff that I have personally been going through. So grab your cup of coffee, get comfortable at that coffee shop you might be sitting in, or adjust your office chair and let's get started. First I want to share with you a story in the Bible about a man named Joseph. Joseph was a man of dreams. He was a man of integrity, honor, and was very hard working. His father loved him so much. But his brothers were always jealous of Joseph. In Genesis 37:1-11 it talks all about his family dramas. And how his brothers were envy of him and his fathers relationship. In Verses 12-36 it goes into how his brothers sold him to slavery, and they end up lying to their father about Joseph's death. Joseph was given many dreams, and was promised a lot of things in life. But one thing Joseph did not know yet was, he would have to go through hell and back before those dreams came to past. He would have to deal with real life issues and pain in his cabinet, in order to be the man God intended him to be. Little did he know, life would actually get a lot harder before blessings and promises came to past. Did you know we are a lot like Joseph when it comes to life issues, and seasons that seem to get really hard. I don't know if you have noticed or not, but people hurt us. People get jealous of us, they may not sell us to slavery, but people do kick us to the curb or reject us in a way. Hurt is hurt. But I believe God gives us promises and dreams despite the junk and mess in our life. The junk in our life is what I like to call a "A Filing Cabinet." Everyone has a filing cabinet in their life. We store hurt, past experiences, and sin in this cabinet under its titled label, and shut the cabinet door and lock it. We walk away from this cabinet, and maybe years later we might walk back and look what we stored. Or the other way around. God gives us dreams and visions of things for our future, but out of fear and doubt we store them in our mental cabinet and lock them away to dust. And then maybe years later, when we actually want to work on ourselves, we go back to those promises. But very rarely do we ever go back. I believe Joseph went through a lot of fear and doubt when he got sold to slavery. If I were him, honestly I would have been losing my mind. He was human. But in spite of all the chaos and the confusion, God promised him a dream and he knew it would eventually come to past. This past few months I have been fighting with doubt and confusion. God has promised me a lot of dreams. In my mind, I really believed I was ready for these dreams to come to past. I have a tunnel vision mindset. For me to wait for something is extremely hard. Patience is not my strength. I get so frustrated with myself because things in life don't happen as fast as I want them to. But the truth is, I have a lot of junk in my life that I need to take care of first. I have a lot of things in my filling cabinet I need to take out and dust off, and clean out to prepare me for my future. And if I am really blunt, I think you do too. I think a lot of us are afraid to go there. We are human and were born in this sinful nature. We have so much in our filing cabinet, it is probably way harder to open than it is to close. Joseph had a ton of junk that he needed to work out before God made him king of his town. And same goes for me and you. But the real question is, what are we doing in the mean time with the files that we have? I believe life gives us good files and bad files. Good files meaning healthy relationships, amazing jobs, opportunity for growth, and compassion and love. Bad files meaning dealing with doubt, anxiety, anger, and maybe even family issues. We are given the freedom on how to file these files. We can either throw them in the filing cabinet to dust and eventually get back to them. Or actually sit down with that paper and fix ourselves to make us better. We are given the option. So what are you doing with the junk in your life? Me personally for years I use to take pride and throw all my issues, insecurities, and hurts, into the filing cabinet and lock it up so quickly. Then walk away with the key in my back pocket, acting as if I am perfect and have myself together. For the longest time people would never know that my filing cabinet was so packed with issues and so dusty. Until one day, the key fell out my pocket and I actually had to deal with myself and heal. So my question for you beautiful people is this. What kind of stuff in your life are you filing? And why? I know it sounds easier said than done. But wouldn't you rather just look at that issue or past hurt on paper, forgive and burn it. Rather than filing it in a mental cabinet. Let me tell you what happens when you do this. It comes back up in your relationships, your marriage, and even when your kids get older, they get affected as well. No one is perfect I get that. But our lives would be way better if we delt with our issues a lot sooner than later. Everyone get dreams and promises. But before those come to past, we have to walk through a season of hardship, healing, and preparation. Joseph was not given things right away. He got sold, became a slave, locked in prison, lonely, and had to deal with hard times before the promises came to past. Same as us. We have got to be content and be faithful in the season of waiting and dealing with our stuff before God can place the whole blessing in our own hands. I had a lot of stuff dusted away in my cabinet. Before, and even during the first few years of my marriage. I really had to clean out my cabinet mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, to get fully healed and prepared for what God had and still has for me. So my challenge for you is this! Examine yourself, examine your heart, and your insecurities. Go find that key to your cabinet and go through your stuff and junk in your life. Warning! It is not going to be easy, it is going to make you cry, and maybe anger will come up. Whatever the effect is, know that God is so proud of you for going back through that cabinet. Know he approves of you. Know you are loved and cherished. I believe its our past that really molds us to our future. God can use every hurt, every tear, and every pain that you once had and walked through, and turn it into something beautiful for your future to help people around you. Today I challenge you to pray and go back to "The Filing Cabinet." Really dig in and see what needs to be cleaned out, and what needs to be thrown away. We all have issues. You should have seen what was in mine. Very embarrassing. But you know what? Because I chose to go through it, and clean out my junk. My life and walk has been so much lighter and freeing. I promsie if God can use me despite all the issues and pain I walked through, He can surely use you. I encourage you to heal up, be willing to go there, and watch what God does in your life. Go find that key, ask for peace and understanding before you unlock that cabinet door. Ask God for strength, ask Him for total healing know matter how big or small the issue will be. Encourage people around you to do the same. Share with them what God did when you went to clean out "The Filing Cabinet." And I promise the dreams and promises God once showed you, will come to past once you get rid of the dusted brokenness from your past. I hope you are encouraged and I pray God rewards you with so much more than you could ever dream or imagine. Share this read with someone you know that needs to be encouraged, before going back their cabinet. Holli ✖️✖️✖️ Happy Friday beautiful ladies!
On this cloudy Friday afternoon, I am at my usual stop sitting in a coffee shop off the 101 coast highway. This week has been so cloudy and quiet in this cute little beach town. I love that I have gotten to know the baristas here. The owners of the "Brown Cup" Oceanside have the sweetest souls. If you are ever in this area definitely stop by for a visit. They know me by name, and know my exact order as I sit down in this comfy brown leather chair. "Snickerdoodle latte with almond milk" coming right up. I am glad you have decided to join me on my newest read today. I have titled this one "Spiritually Homeless." Why you may ask? Spiritually Homeless is something that I have struggled with recently and in the past. Have you ever felt like your starving or missing something in your life? Like no matter what you do, your soul, your heart, or even your mind feels beat? Like your spirit is empty and needs to be energized? Like you are lacking something everyday. Life is getting crazy and you feel like something needs to be done differently in your life? Today, and just like every Blog I write, I want to be as raw and real, and honest as possible. This past month I have felt like I am empty, as if something is missing. I am a believer, yes. Am I perfect? Of course not! But I have somehow gotten to the place where my spirit is running on starvation mode, and it needs to be recharged. Here are some examples I have I found that may have caused this issue. -Time -People -School -Work -Our decisions All these things are good. But I have come to find out, that one of these things can get in the way. It can leave us stranded, empty, and without hope. This is what I like to call "Spiritually Homeless". Meaning, we forget to feed our spirit with the Word so we can survive and live a healthy life. Whole and flourish. I found myself forgetting to do my devotions. Forgetting to soak myself in worship music while driving. Forgetting to write encouraging words or verses for myself. I forgot to feed my spirit. And as time went on. Life work and my descisions I have chosen to make everyday, left me feeling empty inside. I left my spirit on starvation mode, which then kicked my mind and heart to the curb, as if were homeless. My attitude started to change towards friends and my husband. My southern smile disappeared, my face features always looked drained and tired. I started to feel depressed. I have never suffered with depression before. I started to not notice myself anymore. I would look myself in the mirror, and think negative thoughts about myself. I would continue to put myself down, and even put the people around me down as well. My identity in Christ disappeared, and this new depressing identity came over me. Apparently a door I left open behind me cracked open. Some things in my life I forgot to get rid of, began to wrap around my body like a satin robe. My heart began to freeze, and my life lost its purpose. I allowed my decisions to drain out my spirit. This happened in a matter of days, all because I was focused on other things in life and forgot to feed my spirit. Days! What a huge difference I became in a matter of days and hours. There is this really authentic story in the Bible about a man named Jonah. This is one of my all time favorite stories since I was a little girl. Jonah was a follower of Jesus. He was a very well known man in the Bible. People in his town absolutluely loved him. On a normal day, a day where he thought life would be just relaxing in the town. God came to Jonah and asked him to go to Nineveh. A dangerous town to save people. Sounds cool right? Almost like a Marvel movie. I couldn't even imagine what was going through Jonahs mind at that moment. Wow, what an honor you would think? But what Jonah did not realize is that his spirit was empty. He probably thought the week before that he could conquer anything. But God knew his decision even before He asked Jonah. Here is something you may not have thought of, if you have heard this story before. If Jonahs spirit was fed daily, his heart and mind would have been on the right track, he probably would have obeyed God and went straight to Nineveh. Right? But because his spirit was not fed, he disobeyed God and ran away and got swallowed by a giant whale (true story found in Jonah 1:1). I tell you this story because our decisions everyday are based off our mindset, and sometimes our heart. If we do not feed our spirit we will remain empty. And our decisions can lead us astray. Our bodies need food to survive daily, just as our spirits needs to be fed daily in order to remain healthy and living a life accountable to God. I found myself running on low fuel. Trying to find something to fill this emptiness, when really all it was, was my spirit low on the daily Word. I encourage you today to take a step back and examine yourself. Whether it is your heart, your mind, or your spirit. We can run away so quickly like Jonah did without even realizing it. If we are not full of Him, we can say things without realizing it. We can miss open doors or opportunities without realizing it. And once we do that, we could find ourselves in the middle of an ocean swallowed by pride, by arrogance, and maybe even by loneliness. I do think just like a car needs gas to run, we as humans needs to fill our spirit to keep us going in this life. And the cool thing about Jesus is, as He fills us we can help fill other people around us. It is a domino affect. So on this beautiful Friday afternoon. Make sure you fuel yourself today and everyday. If you can do this for a week, you will see such a huge difference in your life. While driving in my car I like to turn on worship music while sitting in traffic. Maybe even a podcast from one of my favorite entrepreneurs or speakers. Make time for your quiet time. You do not want to end up like I was last month, Spiritually Homeless and wondering why. It leaves you lonely, anxiety sometimes creeps in if you leave the door open. Fill your spirit daily, and watch the impact God does in your life and the girls around you. Here are some simple girly verses below, that may help you get a jump start if you are serious about feeding yourself. Know what God says about you. Know you are loved and cherished. Know that He has made you perfect in His image, no matter what girls at work or school may say about you. You are you! And no one can take that away from you. Be encouraged! I hope you beautiful ladies have a fabualous weekend. Soak up the sun for me. Chat with you soon.. Verses of encouragement and to give your spirit a boost! Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." Psalm 46:5 "God is within her, she will NOT fail." Luke 1:45 "Blesseed is she who believed that the Lord would fullfill his promises to her." Proverbs 31:17 "She is energetic and strong, a hard worker." Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield." Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you, wherever you go." 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." Song of Songs "4:7 "You are altogether beautiful my darling, beautiful in every way." Holli Wright ✖️✖️✖️ Good morning,
On this beautiful sunny day in Southern California, I am sitting on my grey modern couch in my living room. I just finished cleaning my home while my husband is out hiking with friends. I love a quiet home. There is something about a clean home, and the candles are lit. So quiet, you can actually hear the birds chirping outside. I cant remember the last time I sat down and heard birds, or just even the clock ticking in my dining room. Sometimes it is good to just sit, and be still. In the midst of this quiet home I wanted to share with you today a blog. Today's read is going to be very honest, raw, and something I recently got healed with last year. So take a seat, grab your coffee. Or if you are at work at your desk, get comfortable. This one is going to be a good one. I want to share with you a little glimps and a small version of my testinmony. I am the second child of four children. Born and raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Yes I am a southern belle that always says "yall." I am proud. So hear is my real story. Try not to choke up, it is kind of a rough one. When I was 5 years old I got diagnosed with "epilepsy" which is a kind of seizure. From 5 to the age of 16, I was in and out of hospitals always taking test, blood work, and brain test to figure out the cause. I was in the hospital so much, I knew all the nurses names by heart. I drew so much blood as a child I am surprised that I never passed out. GED's became my best friend, X-rays of my brain became my TV, and doctors from all over Baton Rouge became my family. Life was okay. I just never knew why I had to walk through all of this, when this never ran in my families DNA. It was an attack on my family from the enemy for sure. I was raised with a very unhealthy father growing up. He was very abusive. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was raped and malested when I was 15 years old. In the woods, by a boy who threatened to kill me. Real life! I was very insecure. I could not hold a conversation for more than a minute with real human people, until I turned almost 20 years old. I was truly scared of men. I could not look my boyfriends or even really just guy friends in the eye. I had friends in high school but they were mostly all guys, because I was trying to fill this void that my father had left me, and trying to replace it with guys or even boyfriends at the time. I lied a lot to my mother and even close friends. I got so good at lying, I started to really believe my lies and fairy tales I would tell people. I spent all my time after high school working full time to save up for a car, so I could so call "get out of this town." Before I got really plugged back in to a church, I had what we call "Construction cones" all over my life. These were mental and spiritual cones that I would put up in my life, so that no one could hurt me, and no one could control me and my life. I started to put these up to honestly protect myself from God. I really thought in my head I was safe, as long I place these cones around my life. I got kicked out of my home at 16 one night after coming home from my softball practice. My father was very bi-polar and would rage for no reason. So I never really knew what could happen on a day to day basis. I lived on survival mode. I remember coming home to my room, black trash bags were filled with all of my stuff. I loaded my grey 2004 bug up, started the engine and left. I worked at a chicken restaurant called "Canes" at the time, and slept in that parking lot for two weeks. I had no where to go. That night, I remember the clock blinking in blue lights and it said 1:15am. The parking lot was dark, and I was wrapped up in my blanket trying to hide in my car in case anyone were to see me. I whispered to God that night. "God if you are real, please save me and help me to make it through all of this. I know I am scared of you, but if you are really real, please save me." That next day a friend called me and said they were looking for a room mate and had a room for me. I moved in, and began life again. But this time in a different environment. I tell you all this because I had so many cones in my life, it was a blockway from me and God. And that is what I want to chat with you today about. Construction cones are typically used outdoors during road work or other situations. They are for traffic redirection or advance warning of hazards or dangers, or the prevention of traffic. The cones are used to prevent someone from coming into the safe sone. I think a lot of people do this, and don't really realize they are doing it. I put up cones for almost 10 years and until last year, if I am being completely honest, I really had no idea I was doing it. Until God showed me a vision. Here is just an example of my experience so you can visually see for yourself. I put a cone up in front of my father, so he could not hurt me again. I put a cone up with my friends because I had a lot of trust issues and experiences with rejection. I put a cone up with my pastors, so they could not tell me something I did not want to hear. Because if they did, I would have to deal with it and fix myself, and that would hurt too much. I put up cones around guys who reminded me of the boy who raped me. Even if they were a good friend or a friend from church. If they had the same hair color as that boy, I would not even try to be their friend. Why? Issues with trust, violation, and many more. I would put up cones with my coworkers and bosses. Because I had so much fear in my life, I was always afraid of getting fired even if I was doing so well at work. I had so many construction cones in my life. If you took a step back and looked at me then, I looked like a student drivers course at a DMV. All you could see is "ORANGE in my life." You could not even see my heart, there was no possible way to even try, that is how far I had fallen off. My heart went from red to orange. My heart was hurt, broken, damaged, black and rusted. Just a like construction cone that's gets hit by a car. I share with you today, because I can say that I have been officially set free from all of my cones as of a month ago. I can now have full eye contact with anyone I talk to. I love my husband and I have no issues with men. I am fully committed and serve at my amazing church "C3 San Diego". I love my leaders. I have been taught so much, and I respect them all. I can except guidance and can handle any conflict that comes my way. I mentor students and teach them how to live a healthy life, and how to handle the hardships in high school like I did. I fully forgave the man that took advantage of me when I was 15. I fully forgave my father for everything he did, and said to me. I got healed from all my construction cones. How you may ask? All Jesus. All because of Him, I am free. To all the moms, single mothers, middle school and high school girls, college girls, or even young women who are on your own out there. To all you beautiful ladies who read my blogs, you can be set free too. The only way to get rid of all these cones in our life is only through Him. He is the only construction man who can spiritually, mentally, and physically pick up the cones and load them in the truck from your life, and from your heart. He is it. He's the one. Isaiah 53:5 "He was wounded because of our rebellious deeds, crushed because of our sins; he endured punishment that made us well; because of His wounds we have been healed." I have been working on these cones for years. This was not an over night solving issue. But it can be, I just took the harder and longer route. I just had a lot of cones to deal with. Some of you may have one or two. Some may have twenty and that it okay. But I am here to say only God can remove them from your life. By removing them, this is the only way to live a healthy and freeing lifestyle. You can not run a race or drive 100 mph on the interstate if there are a million cones in the road blocking your way. I am not your mother or you boss. But I am here to strengthen, encourage, and motivate you. I believe we all have these cones and I want to encourage you today as I close in my blog. Take a step back. Evaluate yourself and see if maybe there are cones in your life blocking you from freedom. It could be little or big. But a cone is a cone. The devil will do anything in his power to prevent you from walking in freedom and doing what God has called you to do in this world. Be a woman of integrity, a woman with fierce, and woman who says I refuse to let construction cones in my life, effect my future. I promise you will be mind blown and shocked by what God does when you ask. It is amazing what takes place when you get in the quiet and just ask Him a simple question. I hope my story has encouraged you today. Stand up, stretch, and go be the woman that God has called you to be. Choose freedom, and not just a silly orange construction cone. Holli Wright ✖️✖️✖️ Hello beautiful young girls,
I hope your week is treating you very well. I have been out the loop for a while now, and I am very excited to be back on the Blog. These past few months for me have been filled with craziness. I got a new job "yay" and I get to work from home which has been such a huge blessing for me. I have been extremely busy with life, you know how that goes. And to be completely honest, I have been procrastinating way more than I should. I am so behind on Blogging. I have a list of Blogs I need to write in my journal, and have not yet touched them(so sad, I know). But I am glad to be back on track. This new blog I am about to share with you is something we all struggle with. It has been a huge issue in todays society. Leadership! Yes, I just said the big "L" word. Have you ever looked up to a certain leader before? Have you ever had a role model? I know I have had several in my life. A few in high school, and one or two even in college. I think it is really important for us to have some kind of leadership in our life. Whether it is a mentor, an athletic coach, or even just a girl to look up to in your life. Someone you want to be like. Someone you would do anything for. Someone who is worth your spare time (when you do have time), and someone who could help you become the best you can be. Leaders are so important in our everyday life. I always like to make sure I have an older mentor for wisdom, and then a mentor around my age to walk through life with. I know personally, it helps me become a better women and person, and just knowing that girl is there for me whenever I need them, is the most refreshing feeling ever. More refreshing than a cup of ice lemonade. You are not meant to do life alone. Do not live your life in a box. Get out, and surround yourself with good people and good girlfriends. The reason I want to talk you about leadership and mentors today, is recently I benched God and fielded man. Meaning, I replaced God with man and looked up to a leader who eventually let me down. This leader hurt me by a mistake they made, why? Because they were human. Duh! And us humans make mistakes all the time. I know this has happened to most of you before am I right? Because the truth is, we are human. And leaders are not perfect. Pastors are not perfect. We have to remember this. I can't tell you how many people I have talked to in my walk, who have been hurt by a leader in the church or even outside of the church. Hurt by a teacher, a boss, or even a close co-worker. We become so numb to their existence, and forget who we should be really looking up to. Which should be Jesus, first! I am nowhere near perfection, trust me I have my flaws, many of them actually. But I wanted to be raw with you in this blog, and help you walk through what I came out of. Which is throwing man out on the field to play, and telling God He needs to be benched the rest of the game. If you think about it, this is really what it is like when we replace man with Him. I use to hate being benched. I played fast-pitch tournament softball for 10 years and this was one of the things that made me so upset. I use to get so upset when my coach would bench me if I missed a play, or she just needed another player to go in. It made me feel useless, my insecurities would come out, and I would just sit there in anger. Squeezing my fist on the bench in the dugout. Tapping my cleats back in forth. Waiting for her to change her mind, and throw me back into the game. Imagine how you would feel being benched when your heart for the game is all you really cared about? Crazy right? I have been in ministry now for almost 10 years. I grew up in the house. I was always surrounded with incredible pastors and leaders at such a young age. Which is an amazing thing, don't get me wrong. But where we can go wrong is attaching ourselves to them and making them our God. This is something I really struggled with. I guess because they were physically there for me. They were easier to talk to. But over time, who we spend our time with, and who we surround ourselves with is who we become, right? I use to want to dress like my leader, speak like my leader, and even talk and mold myself exactly like them to fit in, and feel like I was special and popular like them. Until one day they hurt me, and let me down by a mistake they made. I remember being so mad at this person, I isolated myself and became so bitter with them and even God. I remember that day so clearly. I was laying in my bedroom staring at my pink and lime green walls. My face was furious looking. I remember laying there so numb and thinking to myself "well if their going to mess up, maybe it is okay for me to be like that too." And that is when God whispered to me so clearly. He said to me at 17 years old. "Holli, they are human and I am God. You pick which one is going to play on the field." And it hit me like a box of bricks, falling off a tall building and landing on my head. I had realized what I had just done. I benched God for a long time, and forgot who I really should have been looking up to. So to you girls out there. Our leaders are suppose to be our tour guides, helping guide us. Not the driver in the drivers seat. I really feel like people struggle with this, and totally miss out, and forget why we are really here on earth and who we are suppose to be living for. I know I did. And it took me years to get this through my thick head. Until I had a moment with God when I hit rock bottom. Don't let your situation get you to rock bottom, fix it before it happens. A similar guy in the Bible who was a great leader was Saul. Saul was a leader to David. He helped lead David in so many ways. He mentored David, taught him how to live life and to become the greatest. Until one day Saul messed up. He became greedy, jealous of David, and soon began to take advantage of David, because he knew David was "the chosen one." Do you see how easy it is for a leader to fall? Why? Because leaders are human. We fail everyday. David tried to reach out to Saul, but then Saul threatened to kill him so David stayed away. If anyone that put up with Saul's mess, it was David. David loved Saul for who he was, and not for what he had become. David idolized Saul until one day Saul fell. I dont know about you, but I couldn't imagine how David felt in that season. So to put this in perspective and help you see a clearer picture. I want to you to take a step back and see who your own leaders are in your life. Trust them, follow them, pray for them, listen to them. But do not idolize them. They are human. Keep your eyes on Jesus. At the end of the day, He is the only person you will be accountable to with the actions you choose to take in life. This really helped me see through a different lens on how I view my leaders and mentors. If we keep our main focus on Jesus, our heart will always be protected from all the hurt and let downs the world will give us. I just want to encourage you and end this blog with this. If you do not have a mentor or close friend to help you walk through life with, find one. Stay connected to the house (the church) and don't be afraid to open your heart and yourself up to someone new. I know it can be scary at first, having to meet a total stranger and start over with your story. But for me personally, it was the best decision I have ever done. We can not do life alone. There is no way possible you will make it living on this earth without people. Be willing to learn and grow from leaders. Don't bottle your heart and throw it in a jar and seal the lid. Find someone you can really trust, and open your heart to someone who will love you the way you are, and push you to be the girl God created you to be. Remember this as I close. "Great leaders can only take you so far, but God is the only one who can take you further, and to your final destination." Holli Wright IGood morning,
Hello Bloggers,
It feels so good to be back. I have been away from blogging for a while. I took a break over the holidays to travel and spend time with family in the South. I have had quite a traveling journey over the past couple months. But I am back, and oh boy do I have so many new blogs to post this year. I am so excited to share with you what God has been molding inside of me and teaching me over the holidays. Today I have titled my new blog "Mirrored Identity." I will warn you, this blog post is going to be very blunt and straight from my heart. So you may or may not agree with everything I say, but that is completely okay with me. Im perfectly okay with it. As long as you read this, and take a step back and question yourself with your heart and your thoughts. So grab a blanket or put your slippers on, take a seat and lets begin. Lets start with mirrors. I love mirrors. I know without a shadow of a doubt you own a mirror in your home, am I right? If not one, maybe at least five in your home. Normally, we place them in our bathrooms, our bedrooms or above our dresser. For me I have one above my bed, and one on my vanity where I put on my makeup everyday. I love mirrors, there is just something about mirrors in a room. I love how they make the perfect home decor, and how they reflect and shadow whatever is reflected inside of them. The reason I picked an object like a mirror, is because they are similar to a women or a young girl.It is a object that you can remember, and something that can be used to a everyday life. Mirrors reflect things. But they only reflect things that are mirrored through them. In other words you can place a mirror on a wall and lean it, and if you stand to the side of it you can see clearly everything that is in the room. Why? Because what reflects in always reflects out. Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart. for everything you do flows from it." Mirrors flow from what flows inside of them. Have you ever thought about what reflects you, or what you are reflecting everyday? We are constantly reflecting something in life. Whether that be work, sports, our beauty, bad reputations, or even our words. Our reflection can go from physical to mental, and emotional to sexual. Depending on what we choose to do with them. Depending on the person, we somehow reflect out of our own heart, and what we feel in that moment. We are human don't get me wrong, but we are responsible for what we reflect and what reflects us. To all you beautiful girls, how many times a day do you think you look into the mirror? I know for me it is probably a couple times a day. I have to brush my teeth, put on makeup, maybe check my outfit before work. But when you look into that mirror, what do you see? Do you see a girl with insecurities because you think your over weight but your really not? Do you see a girl who is hurting on the inside, but looks all together on the outside? Do you see a girl who is controlled by her own life, that somewhere in the inside of her she just needs a break? Do you see a women who has been physically mistreated by a man, and wishes for just one day, someone would just tell her she's beautiful? I think 90% of the time we look into the mirror and only see physical, and NOT emotions or really what is really going on in the heart. All honesty, we probably don't really have time to think about that when we glance in the mirror. But what if we did? What if we sat in front of our mirror everyday and told ourselves "Who do you want to be today?" "Who do you want to reflect off of?" "What kind of women or teenage girl do you want to be on the inside?" Maybe, if we did that, our reality and motives would be more positive, and we would be mirrored by good identity. Or if we stood there long enough, we could ask ourselves what is really going on in our hearts, and ask God what part needs healing. I think our identity is so important because it is the main target that people see in you everyday. It is the sign people see when they first meet you, and if I'm being completely honest, it is what comes out our heart that brings negative identity to surface. Your identity is so important. Is your identity of Christ? Is it to be the best you can be everyday? Is it positive or negative? Have you every just sat on your bed or in your car, and questioned what you are reflecting everyday and what is reflecting you everyday? I know I have. And that is because I have had good friends in my past straight up call me out and tell me my identity is wrong and my motives aren't lined up with Christ. I believe God created us with pure identities, and He wants us to be the best we can be. He wants us to look in the mirror and have full confidence in ourselves. To not see ugly but to see real beauty. To not see overweight, but to see curvy and healthy. He wants us to reflect good things in out heart, so that when we are talking to a friend, we are reflecting good and not bad on them. Because the Word of God tells us that what we place inside of us, flows out of our heart. (Me preaching, sorry not sorry lol) Don't let familarity get in the way of normal. People don't read your Bible they read you. You are an ambassador to Christ. You represent Jesus in everything you do, and your job is to show Jesus by the way you live, and what you put off. See, you do not need a position change, you need a perspective change. You need to settle your frantic discontentment in your soul. You can live life everyday and prepare for the worst, or you can live life and expect the very best. Most people don't see the inside of other people on the outside. Everyone of us has a nature inside of us. We are brought up with this lie that we have to be a certain size in jeans, to have a certain colored hair to fit in, to drive the nicest car, and maybe to do certain things just to feel love. Why do we live every single day and consume our inner self with such lies from this world. If I am not mistaken, I do remember the Bible saying something about how God created us in His perfect image. Genesis 1:27 So if that is being said, why do we struggle so much to "fit in" or "because he/she's doing it, we have to do it" life style? This makes me sick. Guess what? I wear a size 10 in jeans and I'm perfectly okay with me because I know that I'm healthy and I look normal. I have short legs, why? Because my mother has short legs. I have huge feet. I wear a 10 in Nikes and I am probably the only girl out of all my friends who has the biggest feet. Does that make me ugly? Of course not, it makes me perfect in the image of Christ. Girls and women you are perfect. God loved you so much and designed you exactly how you are suppose to look. Who cares if one of your friends is skinnier. You better put on those jeans and flaunt yourself because you have curves and tell yourself you look good. Look in that mirror with full confidence and tell yourself ten times if thats what it takes, that you are beautiful. I encourage you for the rest of the week to look into the bathroom mirror and ask yourself what you are reflecting? Ask yourself what is inside of you that Jesus needs to take out. Ask Him to show you where your lack of confidence is. He will show you I promise. It took me years to personally get this through my thick head and know that I am made in the image of God. I don't want that for you. If your a mom or single mom or even a grandparent, know that you are right where you are supppose to be. You are still perfect no matter the age or wrinkles on your face. You are a rockstar. Why? Because you have walked through crazier seasons than us girls, because you have reached higher dreams than we have. Because you have raised a family with honor and commitment. God is pleased with you, don't forget that. You are perfect in the image of Christ. Don't compare yourself to others or where you think you should be. You are exactly where He wants to be. Psalm 149:4 "For the Lord takes delight in his people; He crowns them humbly with victory." Closing with this. Is your reflection light or death? Sometimes praying over yourself out loud daily is what it takes to break the darkness off of your mind and thoughts. Tell a friend if you have to. But you need to know what you are mirroring everyday. Becuase if you don't, you will see nothing but dead fruit everyday. It will become the normal and you won't even know a difference between freedom and dead reflection. Matthew 7:18 says "A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." We need to be trees that bear good fruit. Be a mirror that only sees images of light into this world. This world is full of darkness, and we are born to be light for the lost to see. So next time you see a mirror in your home or even in Target (because you know us girls love Target). Remember that you are always mirroring something. Let that something be good, and let it reflect your identity by being positive and confident in who you are in Christ. Know it, and flaunt it everyday and you will see huge changes in how you live your life everyday. And when girls or women see you reflect good, it will be contagious and healing will take place in your heart. I dare you to try.. - Holli Wright Back-pedal (Urban Dictionary) verb (used without object), back-pedaled, back-pedaling or(especially British) back-pedalled, back-pedalling. 1.To restart the forward motion by pressing backward on the pedal,especially of a bicycle with coaster brakes. 2.To retreat from or reverse one's previous stand on any matter; shiftground: to back-pedal after severe criticism. 3.To retreat from an opponent, especially by stepping rapidlybackward. 4. To turn around and look back. Good evening ladies, this blog I am about to share is going to be different. A huge curveball compared to what I useally write. But different is good right? I like change, and I think change is powerful when we are willing to make a different turn in the road. But speaking of change, this weather has been changing very suddenly in California. One day its 97 degrees outside and your sweating from the heat, and then the next morning it gets to 40 degrees and your trying to find a coat in your closet. But hey! I love FALL weather. Nothing like grabbing a cup of peppermint hot chocolate, throwing on your favorite scarf, and sitting outside while goosebumps start to appear on your arms from the cool breeze. I love everything about Fall. But did you know that in order for Fall to come, the weather and climates have to change? Crazy I know. I am no anchor women like you see on TV, but I do know that God has an exstatic ability to change the weather. And I am so glad He changed it again to Fall this year. Cold weather makes me happy. It's that one time of year where I don't have to wear my LuLu's and a t-shirt everyday. I can actually dress cute, for all you girls out there, you know exactly what I mean don't you? Fall clothes hits the spot. Speaking of spot, as I am sitting in this cute little spot in a cafe in Carlsbad. CA. I can see the ocean on the 101 Coast Highway. I am excited to share with you today my newest blog post. I have named it "Back Peddling." Before God gave me this word for my new blog I really haven't ever heard someone say this word. When I was 8 years old my mother signed me up to be on a swim team. We were called The Westminster Sharks. We were a tournament team that competed against other swim teams in the state of Louisiana (my home state). I just remember the coach giving me my swimsuit to wear. It was light blue with dark blue stripes, and man oh man was it TIGHT. Tighter than spandex. Tighter than a choker on my neck. I could barely breath. I also remember having a "cry session" a couple times a week because I was too embarrassed to show up in this horrifying swimsuit. And to top it off, they made me wear this slim tight hair cap. It was like spandex over my head so my hair wouldn't get in the way as I swam laps. I seriously looked like "Daddy Warbucks" (off Annie) diving into a 20 foot diving pool. Not a good view. Trust me! I will never forget that long summer. I was actually pretty good. You want to know what my best stroke was? Back stroke! I came in 1st place every competition. Even against high school boys. Boy did I think I was the coolest 8 year old on the planet. I remember our coach telling us to get in the pool and to not let our feet touch the bottom of the pool. We actually had to back pedal around the pool for 30 minutes straight without stopping. Sounds easy, but its actually intense. I was crying but you couldn't tell because I was in a pool. Thank God! Did you know that it is a lot easer on your arms to swim backwards. Why? Because your muscles in your arms can actually get faster strength and speed than they would stroking forwards. Did you know for us humans it is a lot easier for us to slip and fall and go backwards? I am talking about our old habits, being in seasons we were so use to. Thinking we are somewhere, but we are actually further away than we thought. It is so easy for us girls to back pedal. Especially when it comes to our ex boyfriends, jobs, family situations, or even addictions. This month I have been trying my hardest to keep my head up and keep looking forward to what God has for me. But since this is my blog and journal, all honesty I have been really doubting myself and belittling myself a lot. Why? I have no idea. I just got a new job, we are settled in our cute little home on the beach in Oceanside, CA. I mean you would think I have it all together, but actually I have been back peddling. Meaning, I have been looking back at my past and comparing it to the life I live now. My past life was pretty good I must say. I was working full time in ministry, bills were paid, and I had tons of close friends. Home was my comfort zone. I never wanted to leave. It was easy, just like front stroke. But girls, let me just tell you how God works. He grabs your neck and begins to turn your head forward and encourages you to look forward and WAIT. Yes, wait on Him. I am learning that even though the season I am in is healthy and good. I have to learn to wait on God to reveal to me my future and show me where I need to be next. Sometimes I get so weak. I want to turn my head around and just sigh at the past, and wish I could somehow go back. It would be so easy because I have already been there. You see where I am going with this? So today as I write my heart on black ink to you, I want to encourage you girls that even when life gets hard, even when you feel like you are not where you want to be. Even when life is good and healthy. You ARE in fact exactly where God wants you to be. Trust me! Have you noticed in your walk that God never brings you back to the exact same season you have already been in. He always brings you to a NEW season. Whether that is a job, a new town, or new friends you are gaining. He always turns your neck and smiles and encourages you to just keep walking. The other day I was complaining to my husband because I had so many visions and goals I want to meet by the time I turned 25 years old. I had my life planned out but the finger tip. I wanted to have 2 books published by the time I was 25. HAHA! Notice I am 25 now and I am almost finished my 1st book. but it hasn't been published yet. My goal is to publish it January 2017. So we will see. But Austin said something to me that hit me harder than a bunch of books dropped on my head. He said.. "You know Holli, those are YOUR goals. It is good to have goals and dreams, but maybe some of them aren't the goals and dreams God wants you to have just yet. Maybe there is, in tiny print on your life that He is still trying to work on you, so that in the future you can pursue those dreams. Maybe, if you stop looking back and stop BACK PEDDLING at your checklist and look forward, you might see what He has for you NOW. Don't miss the Now because your looking back." Y'all, my husband knows how to put me in check real quick. "Zero to a hundred real quick" says Drake. Those words were clearly from God because my husbands eyes were very big after he said that to me. So to all your girls. Please don't back pedal. It is very hard being a woman, and I know our emotions get the best out of us. But you are valuable and God wants huge things out of you. How is He going to aspect you to reach a goal if you keep looking back at your past and keep going backyards. When you swim backwards you have no vision of whats behind you. Your arms are in control and you have to feel your way to make it. God doesn't want you to base your life off of feelings and try to feel your way through life. No! He wants you to have a vision, to see clearly, and look ahead to where you are going. Without sight it is very hard to navigate and follow His plans. Be a woman who is bold and not afraid to move forward. Whether you are suffering with a really bad ex boyfriend, you are trying to move on from bad influenced friends, or you are trying to be somewhere, but you keep back peddling to the past because it is just too hard to move forward. Keep your eyes forward. “Your eye are like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light." Matthew 6:22 I love how this passage says "When your eye is healthy, your whole body is filled with light." Crazy that just answers all this! We need to be women of light and look with our eyes forward. When you chase the past you back pedal and you aren't walking the life God intended for you. I hope this encourages you today. I am learning in this life. That wherever I am, whether my work place be as a Nanny, or in full time ministry I need to look forward and know that God has my future. He has it! To not live off a checklist or a goals chart. And to be so worried everyday because I didn't get to check something off that list. To know that He already knows my dreams in my heart, and He is going to take care of it. I want you to know that too. God already KNOWS everything. Open your eyes and let Him turn your neck to whats in front of you. Be bold woman who look forward with everything you are and everything you have right now, not a woman who is full of fear and insecurity and back pedals. You got this, I am standing in the gap with you. We all struggle but the cool thing is even when we struggle God still has us. Holli Wright Right now as I begin to type, I am sitting at Starbucks in Carlsbad, California. I am enjoying this beautiful fall weather. I love Fall. I love how I can just sit outside all day and not sweat. No sunburn, no changing clothes all day, and I can actually enjoy a cup of coffee or tea without my body feeling like 100 degrees on the inside.
However, I am very excited to be back today as I share my heart on what the Lord has been showing me these two months. Com~pla~cent adjective "Showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one's achievements." |You can't afford to be complacent about security| Other Definitions> smug, self-satisfied, self-congratulatory, self-regarding, conceited; More gloating, triumphant, proud, and pleased with where you are at. The Lord told me "Don't get too settled with just the good life when everything is going good. And don't get too settled with the bad life when everything is going bad. Stay in the middle where you are ready for whatever is thrown at you. For God blesses the ones who wait in the worst seasons, and He also blesses those who are in the good seasons. So today as I write my heart out, I want to give you a deeper brief of what this word means to me, and maybe an idea of what you could take out of this blog. So lets start with my experience first, that way you understand where I am coming from, and what I am actually talking about. So these past few months my husband and I have been in a season of waiting and confusion. Me, knowing that God is not a God of confusion but of clarity, yet I have been struggling to figure out what is going on here in my life at the moment. My husband and I just closed a door at a job in March, we got clarity that it was what we should do, knowing that it would be hard, and we would soon have to learn patience yet AGAIN. I sometimes feel like God is looking down at me wondering why I am freaking out all the time. He is probably like "this woman here." We both have been praying and fasting, so we can be on the same page and know what to do next. I can't tell you how many times God brings me through these seasons. This is probably the tenth time, and now I just sit back and giggle. Because, what else can I really do at this point? God is God. While waiting, God has been showing me and telling me that I have been way to COMPLACENT. That is a huge word. I have heard it a couple times but have never thought about it, nor had let it soak in my brain and really studied it. Over and over this word kept coming to mind. Truthfully, this word can have a good meaning or a bad meaning. It can be used in many different ways. So today I want to plug this big word COMPLACENT into the Word and see what we can get out of it. You may be a girl who is just now coming out of a horrible season, and I mean horrible. You are at the point now, you can just sit down and finally breath without crying. Life is NOW great. You have money, a car, school is just now starting to kick in. You are loving the single life. Or you are loving the amazing boyfriend you have as of right now. Your family is doing pretty good. No drama, "shocker". And you can actually go shopping and not stress about anything in your life. I found the perfect scriptures for you. Get ready! Thankfulness- Palm 92:1 "It is GOOD to give thanks to the Lord, Sing praises to the most high." Be thankful every day and thank Him for giving you the GOOD. For you are about to be blessed in a new season. God's Plan- Jeremiah 29:1 "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to give you a future and a hope." God's plans are always right on time, but NEVER late. He promises you a future and a hope. In that future and hope there will be trials, but it will always be for His good. Just remember that His plan will always be better than yours. (I have had to learn this the hard way, don't be like me.) Good News- Romans 1:16 "For I am not ashamed of the good news about Christ. It is in the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes." Don't be embarrassed by God. He is not some old guy who is weird and super spiritual. He is a best friend, He is a man after your own heart. He loves you and He wants to bring you good plans and good opportunities. He loves you, He loves you, He loves you, and nothing will every change. No matter how many bad things or bad places you have gone. He loves you. Flaunt Him, be PROUD to be a believer, know that He is a cool God. A man who doesn't care what you look like. He loves YOU just the way you are.. Listening- James 1:19 "Understand this, my brothers and sisters; You must be ALL quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger." Listening is the hardest for me. Because I love to talk and give my opinion. I am very strong willed. But man oh man does God love to wreck us when we need it most. Slow down! Listen to people, listen to authority, and listen to yourself and your heart. God speaks to people in so many different ways. I pray that you would find that outlet that He speaks to you. Whether it is in the shower, through writing, through music, or a book. Listening to Him can be the main door to a good season or a bad season. Trust me God sometimes lets you know ahead of time. He's not like a car accident. All of a sudden BOOM! He will give you a heads up if you slow down and listen. Wait on HIM. Now here is to all your girls coming out of an amazing season of life. And out of nowhere you just hit this huge wall. BOOM! You don't know what happened. Your life is slowly falling apart. Your family is fighting, as always. Your low on money. School just started and your stressing out. You and your boyfriend are having problems which is causing you to over think. (Welcome to girls world.) You don't know what you want to do in life. And if this bad season keeps going, you might start to question your faith. Here are some scriptures for you. They are deep, so hold on tight. Mystery Of God- "Look, God is greater than we understand. His years cannot be counted." God is like figuring out a mystery book. You never know what He's up to next. That is where FAITH comes in. I believe that without FAITH, we probably wouldn't want to figure out who God is. But I believe that you are a woman who wants to know Him. You are a woman who wants to understand His plans for you. But in order to get there, you must understand that He is greater and His plans are Greater. Enjoy the mystery man, and watch Him show you things that you least expected. Seeking for God- "Isaiah 55:6 "Seek the Lord while you can find Him. Call on Him now while He is near." In the Word it says we are not promised tomorrow. So as of right now you believe and you know that God is near you right now. Seek after Him while you can. If you are going through something that only you can understand and no one else can. Rip out a piece of paper and pen and journal and tell God how you feel. Exactly how you feel. I don't care if there are curse words on that paper. Get it out. He is close to you, but what we get don't realize is, it is up to us to call on Him. Don't be sacred. He's right there. He has your back, and wants to help you break down your fears. Fear and Trust- "But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what He has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?" Fear is a woman's biggest struggle. Fear without men, fear without needs, or fear without someone to love. Don't let fear be a foothold to the devil. Simply start with writing on a note care "I will not walk in Fear, but instead I will walk in Life and Freedom." Repeat these words every morning after brushing your teeth. He never wants to leave you. So get rid of the Fear. You are worth more than that. Anger- "And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while your still angry. For anger gives a foothold to the devil." Oh boy, this is a big one for me. Well, at least it was if I must be honest. I am such a fast paste girl and I get upset sometimes if things aren't done the right way (meaning my way). Anger is dangerous. I pray that you would be a woman who does not get angry easily. Sometimes it is better to not say anything, and just take a deep breath. Anger is what the devil loves to taunt you with. If he can give you Anger, then it is very hard to have a soft heart and to seek after Jesus like you want to. Discouragement- "So lets not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Giving up always seems so easy when times get tough. But do not give up. You are put in seasons to learn and grow. Whether you feel like you need it or not. God is at work and He knows what He is doing. Don't give up, the blessing is on the other side of the fence, but first God wants to teach you how to climb the fence the right way first. There is going to be a lot of challenges, and you may get some pain in your body that you have never felt before. But trust me, the blessing on the other side is so worth it. Keep pushing on, and don't give up. You are almost there. Thoughts- Collisions 3:2 "Think about things in Heaven, not things on earth." Lastly, this is a hard one. Because us girls love us some earthly things. Clothes, money, fashion, pictures, cars, you name it. I love me some clothes. But sometimes we need to step back and look at the bigger picture. And that picture is, we are not promised tomorrow. Sometimes we forget about the Heavenly things and only focus on what is on Earth. When you are going through a season of hurt and everything around you seems like NO GOOD. Know that God has you. Go back on my blog if you have to, and write down these scriptures. They constantly help me and remind me of what to do in good seasons and the bad seasons. Girls, God wants to bring you through so many seasons in life. So maybe this is your first season, and it just happens to be a bad one. It is going to be hard, trust me I have been there done that times ten. But you will make it. How you may ask? Because it is all apart of the journey and the book God is writing for you. I never knew about seasons were, until I really got saved and started to figure out God's pattern with me. I have come to realize that God gives me very hard and fast seasons. Why? Because I am a fast paste girl, and I either learn things really fast or really slow. For you it may be quite different because God knows you better than I do. But through it all, don't be easy COMPLACENT. Don't get so used to the good life that you begin to get prideful and think you are too good for God. Because oh boy, trust me He comes quicker than a cheetah. And don't think that your life is horrible and no good, all because you are walking in a bad season right now. Don't be easily COMPLACENT. Be ready for any season that comes your way. I have had to learn that God comes when we are not ready. That is when He likes to test our faith level. But in the middle of complacency. Be ready and on guard for whatever God has for you next. And if you can do that, your seasons won't be as rough. You will more likely be ready to learn, and the season will go a lot faster than you thought. Take notes in the good seasons and the bad seasons. That way when you get to a place like me, you will know what to do, how to mentor other girls, how to handle situations better, and your relationship with Christ won't be hard, it will be smooth and soft. Enjoy the mystery of God. I find that life is adventurous and if we sit back and accept what God is trying to teach us, we will be a lot happier than before. Holli Wright Before I share what has been on my heart these past few weeks I just want to say one thing. "I need to pray more."
I am so guilty of this huge word people do not like to use very often. This word called PRAYER. And if I am being completely honest we rarely hear this word used in public or outside our homes. This past month I have really been pressing in and praying more. I do love to pray don't get me wrong, but prayer is not my strongest talent. I love to pray for people and I love to journal. But very rarely do I pray for this nation, or pray for my city. I need to, and I am working on it daily. Today I want to share with you something that happened to me Friday July 8th, at 9:00 am in Carlsbad, California. I am a nanny, I take care of an 18 month old little girl name Amelia. I have cared for her since she came home from the hospital. I am super close with her family. And Amelia is my world. She has the cutest blonde hair and these beautiful laser blue eyes. Last Friday morning, I decided I wanted to take her to Leggoland and bring her to the Aquarium to see all the fish. Amelia absolutely loves fish. So I did what any mother or nanny would do. I got her dressed, packed her diaper bag, and loaded her up in the car. We were on our way. She and I were so excited (okay maybe just me). I actually put makeup on that day and wore real clothes other than LuLu Lemon yoga pants, which is what I normally live in everyday. As we were pulling into the valet, I noticed my engine light came on. Which was very odd because I had just gotten an oil change the week before. I did not think twice about it and began to get out the car and unload Amelia. The valet boy took my keys and we were finally here. I felt like a 10 year old again. I began to talk to Amelia and get her all excited and tell her what we were about to do. As we walked through the double doors of the Aquarium, the employee who was taking our tickets said to me "Mam, you cannot bring your stroller into the Aquarium or any bags. You have to leave them outside today because there are way too many people. Oh, and we do not have security for the strollers so if someone steals it, it is not our fault." I thought to myself screaming in my head "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME." I have come all this way, this guys words just ruined my whole morning. I felt like a real mother that day. So I turned around and Amelia started to cry. Im thinking to myself "Great now she's crying and I am about to cry, could this day get any worse." But wait.. It just did! I then walked out the double doors again and ask the valet boy to go get my car. Im holding Amelia trying to calm her down and I see the valet boy from a distance running to find my car. 15 minutes pass by. 10 more minutes pass by. I start to wonder If the guy forgot about my car, or just can't find it. I turn around and here he comes with my keys but no car. He said "Mam, your car won't start. I tried but it seems either your battery has died or maybe your starter. Can you imagine my eyes. I felt like they rolled into my brain. I began to get livid. He walks me to my car and I try to start it, and nothing. No sound, no lights on, nothing. Well, at this point it was 80 degrees and I had a sweaty baby who was not very happy with me. But on a good note my husband works at the hotel so I gave him a call. The security team came and picked us up and gave my husband the keys to go check out my car and see what was wrong with it. As me and Amelia were sitting in the cafe at the hotel, I began to think so many negative thoughts and was fussing at God because I did not need another car problem. Because me being a human and complaining like any human, did not want to spend more money than I already had on this car. I began to say things like "Great God" "Seriously God, what did I do this time to deserve this?" Now, don't judge me I know I may be the only person in this world that complains but it was a long morning for me. As I am still sitting in this cafe waiting on my husband to call me and tell me all the things that are wrong with my car. My phone rings. I got nervous. I was so angry. I answered, and my husband said. "Babe, your cars running. Engine light is off, come outside and get in your car." I started to laugh because I thought he was joking at first. I began to run with the baby through the hotel and all the bags on my shoulder. Not to mention the stroller I'm trying to push without hitting people and their kids. I get outside and there is my car running smooth waiting for me to get in it. All the valet boys came to my car, the managers, and my husband. We were all questioning "HOW?" At least 6 men tried cranking my car and it would not work. But yet when my husband tries once it all of a sudden works. He said quietly to everyone around "I prayed over her vehicle." My heart dropped. Not only because he prayed over my car, but because I was too prideful and too selfish that I did not even think about praying over my vehicle. Everyones eyes got so big. Even my husbands friend who is an Atheist was mind blown. People looked at my husband like he was crazy. But later that day my husband began to tell me people at his work had heard the news and began to question God and see the power of prayer taken place with their own eyes. And they were amazed. My husband is so humble he rarely says stuff like that especially if people are around. I sometimes pray for more faith so I can be like my husband. I sat in my car and thought why didn't I even think about praying over my car? I mean here I am married to a pastor and It did not even cross my mind. God convicted me that day. That hour was the longest hour of my life. I got in the car and began to tear up. I began to cry out to God on my way home. What little faith I had that day. Normally I have so much Faith, but for this one tiny thing at 9am I did not even have faith as small as a mustard seed. Why? Why Holli? Come on get your stuff together! This is what I want to talk to you about today. PRAYER. Raw prayer. Prayer when you have to get on your knees because you begin to get so weak. Prayer because you have so little faith to trust God with the smallest or biggest thing. Prayer is so powerful and I believe that us christians take advantage over prayer sometimes. We can sometimes be at place where we think we are all high and mighty, but never even think about praying or asking God for help. I know I am guilty of this, but I'm learning daily and that is okay. We all are. But this world needs prayer. Our nation needs prayer. People, your home, and even your car needs to be prayed over daily. I remember my mother growing up would anoint our whole house every Friday and pray over everything in our home. I remember going to sleep and finding oil on my pillows. But to me it was okay, because I never had one nightmare. Not one! I want to get to the place of raw prayer. Just recently my home town Baton Rouge, Louisiana has had riots and small purges due to a policeman who shot a young man. It is all over the news today. People are holding posters and threatening policeman downtown Baton Rouge. No respect, no love, no forgiveness just hate. My city is under an attack right now. People are angry and people are hurting. Therefore they are hurting other people. Us Christians and new believers need to stand up and stop talking and face-booking. We need to stop posting videos and snapchats. We need to get on our knees and pray! Pray for our cities, our kids, the school systems, and everything that we own. This world is under an attack. I know it might sound so cliche. But every single year this world gets worse. It breaks my heart to even click the power button on my remote and see what the world is doing. I use to love watching the news with my mother, but now I am so afraid of it. There are so many different stories and so many hurting people who forget about prayer. Who forget about just asking God for some simple help. Who forget because life is busy, and never think twice about trusting God or believing that He has our back. It breaks my heart to see love ones fighting for what they believe in, even if it is truth or false belief. I want to be a better prayer warrior. This world needs it. Our friends need it, and even that Friday, who knew that my Honda Accord needed it. I get that we are busy, and we forget the detailed or small things we should be doing. But I just want to encourage you today. Pray! Pray raw! It does not have to sound perfect, it does not even have to rhyme. Just ask God for safety over your properties, over your children, and over this nation. Maybe the reason my car wouldn't start is because someone at that hotel needed proof and needed to see with their own eyes that prayer is real, and it is powerful. Or maybe God was just putting me in check like He always does. Or maybe just maybe, it was for me to write this blog to you. Learn how to have raw prayer. Set up note cards or alarms to help remind you. I had to put sticky notes all over the house, but hey it kept me in check and reminded me daily. Be a prayer warrior and God will protect you, He will take care of your ALL your needs. I am learning this and I am way far from perfect. But will you join me and starting praying, like having raw prayer?? Prayer can touch, prayer can heal, prayer can take action, and prayer can move. Move in your city and pray and give it all you got! Ephesians 6:18 "Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert, and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." Holli Wright I am very excited to write this new blog to you on this very beautiful southern California morning. I have been procrastinating over these past three months about what to write. But to be honest with you, God has been on my tail about a few things. I really have been waiting for the right moment to launch this new story I am about to tell. Are you ready? Grab your cup of coffee, mute the tv, because you are in for a treat. "Sweeter than Ice Tea" I always like to say. Have you ever been on an airplane? I would hope so, because it is quite amazing. I have been flying and traveling these past couple months. I absolutely love flying. But do you want to know what I really do not love? Turbulence! I can't stand it. I try to act like I am all tough and cool while sitting in my seat. The passenger next to me might think to themselves, "This girl next to must live on planes, because she fly's like a champ." Ha! Oh boy are they in true denial. My hands start sweating, my heart skips beats, I begin to get so uncomfortable. I have been to almost every state in the U.S the past 5 years, and every single time I get on that plane, turbulence hits me and I cry like a baby on the inside. I get so tense. I feel as it my life is about to be over. I am waiting for that plane to free fall. My brain kicks into "survival mode" and I begin to think of ways to survive, or save people if the plane were to really go down. Dramatic I know? Ask my husband, he laughs at me quite a bit. But did you know that turbulence is totally SAFE? In fact, it is safer than driving your own car on the highway. It is so safe, that the pilots never think twice about it, because it is perfectly normal for them. I never could understand how flight attendants act so normal and are at so much peace while the airplane is shaking or not level. They deserve a lot of stars on their uniform if you ask me. Not my cup of tea but cheers to them. I had the worst turbulence flying from Houston to Louisiana three weeks ago. Now, I fly a lot but this one by far got me. It got me good. In fact, God showed up and put me in my place. And that is what I want to share with you today. I had a very quick layover in Houston. In fact I was running so fast through the airport trying to catch my next flight, when I ran into an older woman who was carrying a tote bag on her back, and her hair was long and grey. Little did I know, 10 minutes after we dropped our coffee on each other, she was in fact sitting next to me on the plane. I love God's sense of humor. Sometimes He cracks me up. Why you may ask? Well listen to this it gets better. As I buckled up and put my carry on underneath the seat in front of me. This woman looks at me and giggles because we both have coffee all over our white shirts. We made small talk here and there. But as the plane began to take off she started talking to me about her life. How she was so excited to see her kids and grandchildren for the first time in 10 years. She was from Salt Lake City, Utah. 4 kids, 2 grandchildren. As we were chatting, she grabbed her bible out of her nude little tote, and began to read the word. I have never felt the Holy Spirit as strong as I did that day 10,000 feet up the the clouds. I asked her what she was reading, and she began to tell me how she was trying to heal from her ex husband. How he had completely physically abused her and her family the past 40 years. She was reading in the book of Job. She shared with me.. Job 11:18 "Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety." We got to talking, and she began to tell me literally her whole life story. Every detail. Now remember I never asked this woman questions about her life. She just began to speak to me without hesitant. Me almost in tears, because every word she told me was identical to my testimony and my story. Ironic! She was 60 years old and was completely broken. Her eyes had dark circles underneath them. Her hair was not fixed. Her hands were shaking, and you could tell she was quite depressed. But, this woman was preaching to me and I was just quietly trying to soak it all in. This complete stranger on this airplane was spitting fire from the word like no other. Verses I haven't even came across yet. Perspectives I haven't even thought of. And wisdom that I so needed. After she told me her story, there was a quiet moment and the Lord spoke to me very clearly. As if everyone on the airplane froze still. This is what He said. "You know Holli, That lady is 60 years old and she feels like she is at her lowest point in life. But her heart is at it's highest point. Because through all this pain and hurt at least her heart is right, and to ME that is okay. Her kids will know ME, her grandkids will know ME, and people one day will know ME through her story. Just like life with turbulence on a plane. We begin to get uncomfortable, uncertain, and sometimes we can get hurt or get bumped. But I have you, and you are SAFE. As long as you abide in ME I will abide in you. Stay close to ME Holli. Don't be scared or put your spiritual walk into to "survivor mode". Remember, I am the only one who can keep you alive. You may get close and feel like your life is about to be over. But I am the wings in your life. You will not crash, and I will not let you get hurt. You might feel like you are about to hit your lowest point, but actually you are at your highest point if your heart is right with ME." After He spoke those words of wisdom to me I immediately wrote it down in my journal. She then asked. "Holli, what is your story?" At this point I was in so much shock because our story and testimony was the exact same story. The only difference was our ages and maybe our hair color. I began to tell her every detail of my walk with Christ and my testimony. Growing up with unhealthy family, and all the abuse I encountered as a child and an adult. I kid you not, God knew what He was doing when He made me run into her in the terminal that day in Houston, Texas. This was only a 45 minute flight, but boy did it feel like 5 hours. As the plane begins to land, we start to close our conversation. All I could think of is the word "timing". I just thought, that what if I were to use the bathroom before I boarded I probably wouldn't have ran into her. Or maybe if I would have walked to my gate. I probably wouldn't have even seen her until we sat down. Timing is everything. And to God it somehow lines up perfectly and on time. Have you ever thought about timing? How a basketball game can go overtime without timing. How an airplane can't land without the timing of the operators who help them control the plane. How people with jobs in this world would probably keep working past 5pm without timing. Timing is everything. And I somehow wonder what God thinks about our timing. What we do with it. How we spend our time. Or maybe, just maybe. He gives us the perfect timing to meet people to keep us in check. As I close this story I want you to realize the importance of your timing and what you do with it in life. There might be people you run into or there might be places you go. But there is two things you can do with it. You can pause your life and take advantage of that timing and learn something from it, or you can keep your headphones in your ear and ignore people. Or you can do you, without a story to tell. I am only saying this because I use to be that person. I would walk into a room and not give a crap about anyone talking to me. Until one day I got checked. It is so important to be a light in peoples life, but it is also important to receive light from people. We are never big enough or better enough to not receive wisdom and advice from other people. Ending with this. There is going to be turbulence in your life. Maybe you have just went through it, or maybe you will go through it tomorrow or the next day. But when you do. Know that you are SAFE. How? Because God has you. So therefore safety is not an issue with God. And know that it is perfectly normal to go through bumpy patches in life. I have walked through some pretty high places and never really realized it until I got to the very low places. I have been where I was without a job for several months, I have waited years to be at a certain place, I have lost close friends, and I have gained close friends. But through it all, make sure your heart is right with Him. And if it is, you are perfectly safe. Be like the pilots who think no second thoughts about turbulence because they know they are in good hands. Be like the flight attendants who have total peace because they know that the pilot (Jesus) has them. Be like the lady I sat with on the plane who has so much Faith that God will heal her and get her out of her broken family and the bondage she has been in for so long. And lastly, be careful with what you do with your time. And if you watch carefully, one day God will make you bump into someone to put you in your place so that you will have divine peace. But it is up to you whether you want to respond to it, or run from it. Psalm 91 "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust in Him. For He will rescue you from every trap and protect you from the deadly disease." Holli Wright Walking in forgiveness is totally different than forgiving someone.. Have you ever been hurt by someone you loved, or someone you were very close to? Yeah it sucks.. Very bad! And it seems the closer you were to them, the harder it felt for you to forgive them. That no matter how hard you tried or what you said, nothing could take the pain they gave you, away.. Have you ever been abused or emotionally abused by someone you love? Yeah! That hurts even worse. Especially when you love them and your just not so sure they love you back, because of the actions they chose to take. Not the actions you took, but the actions they took upon you. Well today as I write this blog, I want to be as RAW as I can be. Because if I am completely honest with myself and you, I believe true healing can come to the surface. No matter what kind of pain your going through. Whether its abuse, emotions, or just unforgiveness in your heart. God wants to heal you completely like He did with me.. So here is my story, and here is what came to the surface in my own heart this month. I have this person in my life that hurt me really bad at the age of 8. He has known me my whole life. He disowned me, he abused me, he violated me, and he left me and my family with nothing, To this day we don't speak, maybe once a year. We haven't seen each other in person in 7 years, and I have completely taken him out of my life, because I believed life was better that way. But the question was, was my life better that way? I was reading in the Word and searching for a story or situation similar to mine, that way I could possibly get some "WISDOM" on what to do with this hurt in my heart. And God brought me to the story of Zacchaeus (He was the tax collector who screwed over everyone). Luke 19:10 Zacchaeus was a hurt little man, He was greedy, he lied, stole peoples money, and did not care about anyone but himself. Everyone was scared of Zacchaeus. No one ever wanted to be his friend or much less in his presence. This man was a disgrace to people who walked by him. But one day, Jesus spotted him in a tree and told him "Zacchaeus Im going to come to your house tonight." Could you imagine being little Zacchaeus? I would be terrified knowing everything that I had done wrong, and Jesus is still coming to MY HOUSE?! But the cool thing about Jesus is He did not care. He already knew everything this little man had done and was about to do. But Jesus chose to walk in forgiveness rather than just forgiving him and walking away like everyone else did. Why did I pick this story? Because I had to learn to be Jesus to this person who hurt me and abused me my whole life. I had to go meet him two weeks ago when I flew home to Baton Rouge, LA and sit down with him face to face, and choose to walk it out. Why? Because even if it was a small amount, I still needed this man in my life. That no matter what he had done in the past, I had to look him in the eye and FORGIVE him completely. Walking in forgiveness is way different than just forgiving someone. You actually have to be so vulnerable and allow Jesus to help you through it. Because physically its impossible. It feels like your in a jail sell with a murderer who killed your best-friend, and you have to look them in the eye and say "I FORGIVE YOU". I don't know about you but for me those three words are so hard for me to say, especially to someone who has hurt me so deeply and almost ruined my life. Thankful for God's grace and how He rescued me at just the right time. But without God it is so hard to truly walk in forgiveness. So to all you beautiful girls out there. To you girls who look so perfect on the outside but on the inside you are dying. Why? Because someone hurt you, someone destroyed you and took advantage of you. Someone violated you or disowned you. Know this.. YOU ARE LOVED. I could not have made it this far without Jesus. Honestly, I probably would have dropped out of high school, end up pregnant, and married a horrible man. BUT.. I didn't because God picked me up where I was and adopted me as his daughter, when I lost my earthly father. Jesus loved Zacchaeus so much despite of his sin and wrong doings. He loved him so much that he went inside his house to see how he was doing. How could you not think that He doesn't love you enough too? I believe God already knew the horrible things that were going to happen to you. He also knew that you were strong enough to take it. But it's up to you, to stand up on your own two feet. Forgive whoever hurt you, and walk in forgiveness. Forgiveness was not was I expected it to be. I thought you just say those three simple words and move on with your life. Because the world tells us to "FORGIVE AND FORGET". But the thing is you can't forget. It will always be in your heart if you don't walk it out. Yes it going to be uncomfortable, and yes it's going to hurt like Hell. But I promise you, if I can do it you can too. Love people despite their issues, love people even though there sinning 24/7. Love people even if they hurt you or left you. Why? Simply this.. Jesus did it, and He didn't do it to show off or just because. He did it because there was POWER in it. And if you can walk it out and forgive that person, there will be power, and a healing breakthrough will take place. For me, I forgave him and I'm learning each day to walk it out. It may take months, or years, but I'm doing it because there is freedom in my heart, and I don't have to live in the bondage anymore. I can be happy again, Yes, we may not ever be as close as we once were, we may never be best friends. But that is okay with me. Because I know Jesus is looking down saying "I am so proud of you." And that is all I need to know. And maybe just maybe thats all you need to know too. So I encourage you, forgive them. Don't do it because you want to look good, don't do it for other people. Do it for you. Do it for your heart. And you will see power take place over time. I promise you.. you will become a stronger woman because of it. Holli Wright Hello beautiful ladies! I hope you had a wonderful New Years. I just got finished with 21 days of prayer and fasting. I have to say this years fast was by far the best one I have ever done. I decided to fast social media, so that is why I have been MIA these past few weeks. Fasting Instagram and Facebook was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. But I am so excited to share with you today some awesome things Jesus has been showing me. As well as teaching me while I am in this resting season. I am not the girl who loves to rest, but waiting for a word from Jesus this month has been amazing and changed my heart. I have to say Jesus is the real deal. I encourage you to fast for a week and take a break from something, and just sit in His presence. He will change your world in the midst of the silence. It's crazy. Numbers 16:9 "Isn't it enough for you that the God of Israel has separated you from the rest of the Israelite community, and brought you near to himself to do the work of the Lord's tabernacle, and to stand before the community and minister to them?" So this past few weeks with no distractions I have been having a lot of doubt about my future. Not knowing what Jesus has for me next, not knowing what I want to do with my career, and really just unsure of what He wants me to be doing on this little break I have been on. I was sitting in my church one morning during prayer. Looking down and twiddling my thumb. Thinking to myself "Lord will you just show me the answer, show me what I'm suppose to be doing for your kingdom and here on earth." I felt as if I was at a dead end. Not really knowing if there is another path I should take, or to completely turn around and start over. Worship music was playing, and suddenly I felt a heavy weight over my body. I heard it loud and clear. Jesus told me three words. Clear as day. "It Is Enough". I opened my bible and began to dig for this phrase. Within a few minutes I found this verse above. Numbers 16:9. It talks about how God separated us from everything else. He takes us away from everyone and everything just to bring us close to Him. Why would He do this? Simply because He loves us that much. Despite our pain, our past, or the horrible things we have not yet done. He picked us up and brought us closer to Him. I don't know about you but "wow" that is so powerful and an amazing scripture. He didn't have to pick us up and take us out, but the fact that He did means everything. As I was grasping that thought, it hit me. God has a plan for us women in this world. There is going to be a time where we are stuck and we don't know where to turn to. We will be at a complete dead end and not even know where to go next. We have all these dreams of where we want to be, but since we are relying on Jesus, we have to wait on Him and figure out where to go next. That sounds so cliche, but it's really hard when reality steps in. It's not always easy just sitting and waiting on Jesus. His timing is never what we want, but I will say He's never late. Sometimes it's the last minute but it's always perfect timing. So despite your past or your unknown future Jesus says to you. It Is Enough. Everything you have worked for is enough. Everything you have prayed for it is enough. Everything that you are unsure of, God will make it clear to you and give you peace. All the wrong things and painful past you have walked through, it has been enough. God loves you enough to take you completely away, and allow you to just sit with Him if you will let Him. I think us women have this natural fear in our lives that we just want everything to be okay, and everything to work out perfectly. But with Jesus by your side it will.. Don't ever let doubt and fear become a slave to your life. Don't let your past be an excuse for letting Jesus take you away with Him. I have learned the hard way with a lot of things, mainly because I am stubborn and I like to control certain things. But what I have had to learn, is that I need to allow Jesus to lead me out and not the other way around. For Him to take my hand and bring me out. Remember you are ENOUGH! What your doing is enough. Who you are is enough for Jesus. He knows our future more than anyone else does. And if we would only just release that to Him, the doubt will go away and peace will begin to take over our lives. He is enough for you! God's grace is enough for you. It is enough to cover everything. His forgiveness is enough. So stop doubting and walk in it with Him. And you will be filled, and it will be enough.. Holli Wright It has been a whole month since I have blogged. After praying and thinking about what to write next. Today, on this wonderful Wednesday in California. I have decided I am going to write about (Grace). I like to make sure I walk through these life issues first before I write them down. That way I can experience it first, and then give you the full picture through a personal experience. Grace- /gras/
So this past month God has put three really important people in my life to give grace to. Now if you must know me, I am not a girl of grace. Honestly.. I don't even know how to give grace away. Why you may ask? Well mainly because in my past, I have had a lot of people screw me over, lose my trust, or disown me. So because of that, I have gained such a bad habit of not really knowing how to have grace with people, much less give it away to people who really don't deserve it. But let's be honest.. No one really deserves Grace. Did you know that? I am kind of embarrassed. I knew it, but it really didn't sink in my head very well. Grace is not something I think of on a daily basis. It's not my favorite word. It's not my gift. But it can be for you.. and for me. Yes! You! I was reading in my bible and found this awesome story that fits grace perfectly. Jesus gave us a perfect picture of how He gave grace away to a young woman who did not deserve one bit of it. The story is about a woman who was a prostitute. She had left her family, began to chase money, and ran out of everything that she once had. She was walking through the city and came to a water well. Little did she know, Jesus was at that well. She had no idea He was the Messiah. She asked Him for some water. If He would give her some water, she would be set. He told her, "You need living water." She had no idea what He was talking about. All she wanted was a bucket of water and then she would be on her way to where she was headed. Jesus bent down on the ground and picked her up and said "If you live by me I can give you living water." Living water would refresh her, and free her from all the bondage and sin she had done wrong. Jesus asked her if she knew who He was. For the second time she had no idea. Until Jesus told her, I am the Messiah, live by me and I will give you freedom and everlasting life. What a crazy story! I mean here is this woman who had nothing on her back. She had been married more than all the fingers on your right hand. She had slept with so many men in her past, and yet Jesus still got on the ground and picked her up. To me.. THIS IS GRACE! He gave her free grace. Grace that is healthy, grace that is life-giving, and grace that is totally forgiven. After reading this story and thinking. I really had a heart to heart moment with God. I thought to myself. "Wow, Jesus I want to give grace away to people freely." I don't want to be stingy with grace, or play give and take with grace. I really want to change. No matter how many times my dad lets me down, no matter how many times my friends fail me. I want to get on the ground, pick them up and hand them free GRACE. Even to all the girls out there that drive me insane, and honestly I never would want to be friends with them, I want to give them GRACE. To all the people in my past who hurt me. If I ever were to see them again, I pray that the Lord gives me courage to give them grace over again. Tomorrow is the last day of 2015 and I want to encourage you ladies out there. Give grace away like its free money. Give grace to people who you honestly can't stand to be around. Give grace away to people who don't deserve one bit of it. If you can do that, Jesus will change your heart. To be honest if it were me and you at that water well, do you think we would have over looked her and grabbed our water and walked off? Probably.. Maybe.. Jesus was so soft with her, so gentle, and so kind. He had no problem getting down in the dirt with her. And I believe He gets in the dirt with us daily. Yes DAILY! He doesn't have to, but He does. I don't know about you, but as this year begins to come to an end. I want to have a heart like that. I want to be a girl who gives grace away like no big deal. I hope this encouraged you today. I hope you have a wonderful and safe New Years. People always make resolutions for the new years. Let this one be one of yours. Let Grace be the reason your heart changed like it did with mine.. Holli Wright It seems doors of opportunity open and close before us in life. Is it God opening and closing these doors? For many years I’ve heard the saying, “When God shuts one door, He opens another!” Well, this statement is false. Those exact words are not found in the Bible anywhere. Crazy right? The reason I bring this up, is because I have been going through so many closing doors. Some good and some not so good. I was seeking in His word this morning on what He says about "open and closed doors" and here are a few that came to my heart. Revelation 3:8 “I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name." John 10:9 "I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find peace." Notice, I underlined certain words in these verses. I like to do that because I am a visual learner. When I read a story, I like to picture it as if I am there. So that's what I want to show you today as your read my blog. I want you to grasp this so tight, and visualize Jesus opening and closing doors in your life. I pray that God gives you peace and understanding if you do walk through doors later in life. That no fear, no doubt, and no confusion will come when He closes a door. Because it will be emotional, and it will hurt a tad. But I'm here to tell you today, that on the other side of that door God has something so much BIGGER and BETTER for you. I promise.. So this past month God has been prepping my heart and getting me ready to close some doors in my life that I was not aware of. This past year I have been nannying a beautiful baby full-time, and working part time in Kids Ministry at our church in California. I have been running so hard like a chicken with his head cut off. I was mentoring students full time and pouring into so many people, what I didn't realize was.. My cup was totally empty. I have been serving at a church since I was eight years old. I am twenty-four now. That's sixteen years straight serving and pouring into people. I had no idea that I could get so burnt out. So empty.. Like so so empty.. I felt like I was just going through the motions. I couldn't figure out why? I was in my word, and I was getting filled on Sundays. But apparently to God that wasn't enough.. Two weeks ago God closed two really big doors in my life. Remember He had been prepping me, but when the doors were sealed I freaked out. I was emotionally gone. I felt hurt and stuck. But yet I had a peace about what He told me to do. Weird at the same time. So here I am feeling like Im in a all white room with no doors. Sitting on the floor with my arms around my legs, crying and trying to figure out why God closed these doors. Why would He close doors that I thought were my future? Doors that I had been dreaming to walk through. Doors that was what I thought "perfect" and fulfilling. Why Jesus? Why now? After praying and seeking about what to do next. God clearly spoke to me and said.. (Words from my journal) "Holli, there is bigger door.. but you must wait for it. That is why I closed all your open doors. You have been waiting for a door that's so small and that looks beautiful and perfect. But that's NOT the door I want you to walk through. I have a bigger and better door that is HUGE. A door that when you open it, you will be blown away. Now sit down, rest in ONLY ME! And wait until I bring you through the right door. You must not move until I give you the sign to get up.." So here is to all you young and beautiful girls out there. Sometimes you might dream of where you want to be, and that's okay. You might dream about this amazing door that one day will come, and it will eventually lead you to where you want to be. And you may think its a HUGE door and that's okay too. But I tell you today that there is a BIGGER door that God has for you. And in order for you to walk through that bigger door. God is LITERALLY going to close all the other doors in your life. Yes, You are going to feel empty, alone, and confused. But I'm giving you a heads up. DON'T feel those things. I know that's hard to do when reality sets in. But trust me you can do it.. I have been on my hands and knees waiting for something I thought was true and right. But I was not even close. I was miles maybe even hours away. I believe in you woman, If I can do it, you can too.. Jesus has so much in store for you than you think He does. He was not the father I thought He was until I got to know Him, and see what He has for me and my life. Yes eventually I will get to that big door. And when I do I will be happy and give Him glory. But until then.. I will sit here and REST in ONLY His presence. Because that's really all I can do. The word says that only God has the key to the doors. No one can open or close these doors. you can try your best. But the keys in your hand are NOT the right ones. So REST.. journal your heart out.. Write, blog, or cry. However you like to cope. And know that He is God.. and He has such bigger dreams for you than you have ever thought or imagined. And remember girls, when He does open that door just know that it was worth the wait. I believe God tests us, and He gives us resting seasons. But what better way to be all that He created you to be, while resting and prepping you in that white room with no doors. Get ready.. He's got something big for you. You just got to want it. And if you do want it. SHUT the door, And don't look back.. Amen? 12/01/15 Holli Wright The way my mind works feels like a rollercoaster sometimes. Anxious when I begin to think about something, and then as soon as something clicks it goes 110 miles per hour. And then I have no control when it is going to stop. Have you ever felt like you always think too much, and then you have a headache right after?? Well come to find out, I do.. "Hello welcome to the human body." I think about everything and then my mind starts to try and fix the problems and how to organize the process. The problem is, I then get attacked by anxiety, stress, and emotionally I'm gone. I have been digging in the word and trying to figure out how do I get healed or is this even a spiritual problem? I was reading and came across this verse that matched my problem perfectly. It's kind of funny how God does that, He shows you the answer and your like "wow I feel dumb".. Romans 12:2 "Do not conform the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your MIND. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. His will is good, pleasing and perfect." So I said to myself "Lord if I am suppose to have a RENEWED and TRANSFORMED mind, where do I even start?" "Is this really an issue of mine, or is this normal for people?" And the answer is No its not normal, and Yes it's an issue. I have come to the conclusion that I have NOT been giving Jesus my mind everyday like I should be. So therefor since I don't do that, my mind is automatically handed over to the devil. Who then gives me anxiety, stress, and emotional issues. I was never told to do this growing up, so imagine my reaction when I realized that this is what Im suppose to be doing. SHOCKED! So to encourage you girls today. Every morning give your mind to Jesus, It doesn't matter if your a perfect christian or not. Give it to Him and He will renew you and allow you to think more positive and to be able to slow down and enjoy life more. This is all new to me. Im a beginner too. So lets do it together. I have been at the edge of quitting my passion and just letting the devil completely drag me down. Although thats not what my heart wants, but it is what my mind is wanting me to do. Thinking too much exhaust me daily, and I feel like I'm slowly turning into a zombie. Im no doctor, but if you have been having extreme anxiety and what I like to call a "Spiritual Headache" let Jesus renew your mind daily not weekly. We as humans go through a lot junk in one day. Whether its a good season or a bad season. This may cause you to cry a lot and get all your emotions out. And thats OKAY. I never was a cryer until I got closer to Jesus. He catches everywhere tear so its okay to cry. It may cause mixed emotions, but thats OKAY too. God will begin to mold you into the woman He wants you to be, but it does take time, and it does take a process. But never give up and let your mind control your life. Its so dangerous. As I'm walking into a season of healing and recognizing my issues, I pray you find yours and give God your mind and thoughts like me. The devil wants to drown you and make you want to quit. But Jesus says, "GET BACK UP, come to me daily, and watch what I can do with you.. and through you.." ~Holli Wright
Growing up I was never an emotional girl. I always dealt with things by throwing them under the rug. And then later down the road it would hit me again. This past few months I have been so emotional. I barely sleep and my body feels completely warn out. Like a car without gas. Parked... a car that won't even start. I have been feeling like that devil is always trying to attack me with something so small. But then my feeling kick in and it turns to something so big. I'm writing this because I know every girl deals with emotions. Trust me there are days where I don't want to go to work, I want to quit my passion, and throw in the towel. It's a roller coaster and it's exhausting. But a wise man once told me. [ Your setback is just a set up for your comeback! A setback is an unexpected change from better to worse, a disappointment. But if you will let God, He will use your worse day as fuel for your future. In fact, your future is wrapped up in how you respond to your failure. Isaiah 61:3 says He gives you "Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness – that you might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified." What does God call you? God doesn’t call you failure. He sees more in you than your best friend, than your family, even more than you do – even in your setback, He calls you righteous! Your mess can become your message; your test will become your testimony! A divine exchange is about to take place in your life. ] So girls it's okay to NOT be okay. It's okay to feel, to hurt, and to be so down that u don't want to do anything. But it is NOT ok to NOT let God change you and heal you. He can give u peace and comfort you. I'm learning this daily, but I know that if I just sit here, and don't give anything to God. My rug will become bigger than my problems.. |